#not to sound like he's a poor little meow meow i just really think house has a fragile gooey heart

[marc--chilton]

my new hc is that house is stupid when it comes to love, he just doesn't get to show it as often as wilson does (he, too, is stupid with.... well. yknow. three wives, affairs. maybe it's the illusion of stability that comes with marriage that makes wilson jump to it so often... weird guy. but we're not talking about him rn)

like stacy was moved in to his place a week after they met. ignoring what that says about her, this is HOUSE. pre-infarction, sure, but still house. he himself said he would have married crandall because they were young and he had a car! he mocks the idea of marriage! (this is probably just a jokey throwaway line but Listen)

i believe that if house didn't hide behind all these mechanisms he's developed to keep people away, to weed out the "weak" ones who can't handle him, his crudeness, his disability, his neediness, he would have had his heart broken so, so many times

[bunnis-monsters]

Cat hybrid reader going through her first heat after taking heat suppresent pills all her life with werewolf husband(NSFW obv). This sounds kinda cute in my head.... I can't explain it.... Like getting married and then finally deciding that you want to let yourself go through a natural process which you were suppressing all your life.

Happy 5k! If this isn't something you'll write, I am sorry, please do not block me, I can't tell if this is following the rules or not.

Your husband held your hand as you started the morning without taking your heat suppressant pill for the first time.

You wanted to have kittens with him so badly, and he wanted to fuck you full of pups, so the two of you decided that it was beast for you to temporarily stop taking them so you could mate properly.

“You think it’ll be okay?” he asked, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

You frowned, leaning against him. “I’m not sure… it’ll take a few days for the suppressant to leave my system. I’ll find out then…”

And find out you did.

Your husband returned home after a long day of work, only for his cock to immediately strain against his pants when he picked up the smell of your heat. He could hear your desperate little mews from the bedroom, walking in to see you crying and begging for release.

You had never felt such an ache in your cunt, and had never really felt the urge to masturbate so you had no idea what to do. He watched you struggle to finger yourself and play with your clit, your pretty kitty tail rubbing against your fat, wet pussy.

“Poor baby, can’t even make herself cum…”

He fucked his fingers into you, making your back arch. “Mmph! P-please, need more!”

You panted, your body feeling like it was on fire. His fingers were a little help, but it was like throwing a bucket of water on a house fire.

You needed more.

“Shh, sweetheart. Gotta stretch you out, okay? Can you be my good girl and wait for me?”

He moved his fingers in a scissoring motion, trying his best to stretch you out as quickly as possible.

You nearly lost it when you felt him kiss your inner thigh, his lips moving to your fat pussy. He licked your clit, sucking on it as his fingers kept fucking into you.

After a few moments you cried out, cumming on his fingers and writhing on the bed. Orgasming while in heat was like nothing you’d ever felt before!

Your entire body spasmed as he pulled out his fingers from your aching pussy with a wet squelch. It took him a second to compose himself, watching your pussy ooze. There was a mess under your hips already, and your scent alone was driving him insane!

He already towered over you, but now he seemed to loom over your body like a predator ready to pounce on its prey.

He rolled you onto your fat tummy, lifting your hips so he could properly mount you. By now, he was going off of pure instinct, ready to breed his fertile little mate.

“Mew…”

You let out a pathetic little meow as he sunk into you. The two of you had sex before, but now it was an entirely different experience.

The pleasure was multiplied tenfold, and he was so much more intense than he had been previously. “Wanna make puppies with you! W-wanna-!”

You buried your face into the pillow as he pounded your kitty cunt. His grip on your tail made you cry out, arching your back so he could reach you better.

Your hips and legs were easily lifted off the bed as he began using your fat pussy to get off, his mind fat gone. You didn’t mind, the feeling of him knotting you and filling your belly with cum over and over again was the only thing helping to calm the heat in your body.

The next day, your mate fussed over you, feeling terrible that he went overboard and lost control.

“I’m sorry, little one… your heat, it just-“

You butted your head against him affectionately, purring as he began to pet you.

“I think it’s what I needed… thank you for being with me for my first heat.”

“Of course… I’m your husband and mate, it’s my responsibility to take care of you.”

The two of you spent the morning cuddling in bed, soft purrs and loving mews filling the air.

——————

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @screaming-crying-screamingagain @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @j3llyphisching @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljr

[chaiifluuf]

Go kitty go! — d. osamu

synopsis. coming across a lonely kitten by the streets doesn’t happen everyday and it would be a crime not to take it home with you

content. gn!reader, ada!reader, fluff with extra fluff, reader likes cats(i love them okay.), established relationship, lowercase

notes. got this silly idea one day out of nowhere hehe, also thank you for all the love on my last fic! i really appreciate it <3 hope you enjoy !

meow!

suddenly you heard a high pitched cry and could identify it immediately. it was a cat. you stop in your tracks and turn your head around to the source of the noise. in a rather dark alleyway by the dumpster you notice a small kitty with a black coat and white paws. your heart melted in a second. why was there a kitten alone here, especially in this part of the city?  

“hey…” you speak out with a gentle tone, slowly crouching down so you could be more on the same level as the young feline. and to your satisfaction, it carefully started to make its way to you, seeming interested in you. with a smile you reach your hand out and invite the kitty to smell your hand, hoping that by doing so it will know that you won’t harm it. 

the black cat curiously sniffs the tips of your fingers before nuzzling your hand and letting out a small meow again. god you forgot how cute the sound of a kitten can be. you lightly stroke its back and you can’t believe how soft the fur is. you start to wonder how it ended up here. did it run away from home? was it a stray from the beginning? but then the coat wouldn’t be so clean and fluffy. or maybe someone kicked the kitten out or abandoned it? you really hope that’s not the case because who would do that to such an innocent creature.

the cat enjoys your affection quite a lot as it keeps rubbing itself against your legs. you stand up again as you remember you should really get home now. you’ve been dealing with a case for almost the whole day, leaving your poor boyfriend all alone for so long as dazai would describe it while you were about to leave in the morning. it was already hard enough to get out of bed since he would just not let go of you and pull you right back into the sheets with him, softly whining into your ear.

though now you were done with work, planning to return home. the kitty let out another cry and you knew you couldn’t just leave it here. who knows what might happen if you were to leave it alone here. 

and so you made up your mind to take it with you for the meantime and then later decide what to do next. you pick the animal up and continue walking, never before anticipating to encounter something like this but you were definitely not complaining.

•••

dazai is quietly laid down on the couch as he reads the book he always reads. it started out okay but overtime he has gotten bored of even reading that as time seems to go slower than usual. truth to be told, dazai just wanted you to come back, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. it was awfully quiet in the house, and ultimately there was just nothing particular to do.

he sighed, his eyes drifting to the ceiling. dazai would have gladly come along with you but you insisted you wouldn’t take long and told him to go back to sleep as it was a little early in the morning when you had to leave. funny how you think he’d be able to normally sleep without you there. the amount of times dazai has thought about wanting to stay in bed with you for as long as even a day, cuddling and resting together, just you and him. even if you two wouldn’t be doing anything productive, he would still enjoy it to the fullest.

the sound of keys jingling and a door opening brought him back to reality. his face immediately lit up as he sat up straight, looking towards the front door, already excited to see your face. 

“my love! you’re finally back, how— …oh?”

as soon as you were in his view, he noticed something small in your hands. it took him less than a second to realise what that was.

“well as you can see.. i came home with some company today. look how adorable it is!” you tell him with a big smile while keeping the creature in your arms and rubbing its head with your thumb. the cat looks around curiously, examining the room.

dazai, for the first time in a while, was dumbfounded. he knew about your liking to cats but he never expected you to simply come back with one. 

“…you found a kitten?” he says unsurely as he stares at the kitty with slight confusion, trying to make sense of the situation.

“yeah, on the streets. i couldn’t possibly just leave it there when it came to me,” you speak with a soft tone and slowly put the kitten down so it could move freely. dazai watched the cat as it let out another meow. he blinked and turned back to you.

“surely you’re not planning to keep it right? someone might be looking for it,” he points out although he thinks his heart skipped a beat when he saw the pure look of adoration in your eyes. the overall image of happiness on you made his chest feel warmer.

you nod. “i know. however for the time being we can take some care of it, can’t we?” you say with a hopeful look, moving to sit down next to him and also helping the kitty to join you two as it followed you around.

“look I know you aren’t fond of dogs but i've never heard you say anything bad about cats,” you mention, slightly leaning on him as you wonder about his opinion on cats. 

he lets out a low hum, wrapping one of his arms around you and giving you a small kiss on your temple before responding calmly. “i don’t have anything against cats as long as they don’t attack me out of nowhere.”

you seemed pleased with his answer. “exactly! i’m sure that this cutie here is no problem at all,” a slight chuckle leaves your lips as you feel the black kitty between you and him lightly lick your finger, not used to the sensation of its rough tongue.

dazai’s grin grows a little. “are you talking about yourself?~” he teased, using that flirtatious tone of his. and of course he didn’t miss that pink tint that raised to your cheeks right after saying that. 

“‘samu! you know what I was talking about,” you tell him, and you can feel your cheeks burn a little. you should’ve honestly seen that one coming but oh well. he has always been too good at making comments like this to get you all flustered.

before he could respond, the kitten started meowing again, only slightly louder this time. both you and dazai are caught off guard by that. you blink in surprise. “what’s wrong?” your tone is softer, trying to figure out what’s going on as you stroke its back. 

“maybe it’s hungry?” dazai guesses since if the kitty has been a stray for some time then it must be hungry.

“oh you’re right,” you now realise that as well. what should you feed it though? you get up to go over and check the fridge, scanning over all the food items there are. you hum in thought. “pretty sure that cow milk wasn’t good for them… but we have some ham,” you speak while taking a package of it out.

dazai returns his gaze back to the black kitten. it really did have rather big and innocent eyes, he noticed. and before he had the chance to react, it made its way into his lap, seeming curious about him now. dazai’s body slightly tensed as he wasn’t sure what to do or what it wanted from him. the cat merely lets out a small cry as it stares at him.

after a moment of thinking, he slowly moves his hand near the kitty’s head and to his surprise, the kitten rubs itself against his palm right away. his gaze softened. Its fur really was as soft as it looked and after about a minute of petting it, he heard a different noise. It was undoubtedly purring. did this little one like him that much?

“aww socks likes you, ‘samu! this is the first time i'm hearing it purr,” you speak up with joy from behind as you prepare some small pieces of ham on a plate. dazai can’t help but chuckle at the mention of the name.

“socks? that's supposed to be its name now?” he says as he turns his head to you, a casual smile on his face. 

“i mean i think it is a fitting nickname, considering its black coat and white paws which seem like socks,” you explain while putting the rest of the ham back into the fridge and returning to the couch. You place the plate of some ham on the ground and glance at socks. “Look here, i got you something,” you tell the kitty as you point to the ham.

the kitten immediately perks up and jumps off dazai’s lap. it sniffs the pork and a second later starts eating it. your face beamed as you looked at socks, it is quite obvious that the poor animal was starving considering how hastily it’s eating.

dazai however had his eyes on you the entire time. he swears your beauty multiplies when you look so content like this. the way your eyes are sparkling, a soft smile gracing your lips, your whole figure seems to shine. and once again he's reminded that he is dating an angel. he really can’t fight the way the corners of his lips turned upwards. he wished things stayed this way forever. because if you are happy then he is happy.

it doesn’t take long for the kitten to finish its food, licking its lips in satisfaction. you reach out your hand to pet it, murmuring a small praise as well. 

“y’know we have to go to the animal shelter sooner or later,” dazai brings up with a quiet tone and intertwines one of his hands with yours. a moment of silence passes before you subtly nod, your hand squeezing his slightly. “yeah i know… i imagine someone could be worried sick, with no idea where their pet is,” you say calmly, a quiet sigh leaving your lips.

yes, that was the right thing to do after all. it’s the least that this cat deserves.

•••

in the end, the kitty reunited with its real owner. you still remember the image of pure relief on her face when she hugged her pet tightly, a few tears escaping her eyes. she also thanked you dearly with a hug as well. she was beyond grateful to you over the fact that you decided to take it with you to the shelter.

oh and you found out that the kitten’s real name was molly. it was a perfect name for her no doubt, but you won’t regret calling her by your created nickname before. 

molly is now with her owner in her real home, loved and cared for. problem solved. so why don’t you feel happy about it?

you honestly felt a little guilty for even getting this attached. you should have expected this one way or another, it wasn’t like you were going to keep a cat all of a sudden just because you found it on the streets. you should forget about this and move on with your life.

dazai noticed your changed behaviour after the whole thing. he always does. you were more quiet at times, and he could tell you missed her even if you didn't bring it up. the affection you had for her was clear to him from the beginning. he often thought about how to make you feel better, what he could say to see that smile of yours again. one day he finally got an idea.

“love, i’ve been thinking about something,” dazai says, leaning slightly against the kitchen counter as he watches you cook breakfast.

you hum in response. “i'm listening,” you say simply while you sprinkle some salt onto the fried eggs you’re cooking. after a moment he decides to continue.

“i wouldn’t mind adopting a cat some time in the future,” he tells you truthfully as he glances at you, waiting for your reaction.

your movements pause. “...are you serious?” you turn to him and look deep into his eyes. for a second you were unsure if you heard him right.

dazai smiled fondly before nodding, and after processing what he meant, a smile grew on your lips too. he sees that familiar light in your eyes again now and he couldn’t feel luckier.

you moved closer to him and gave him a simple yet sweet kiss on the lips. dazai placed his hands on your hips, slowly drawing circles on them as he focused on the kiss.

afterwards, you kept your forehead in touch with his, murmuring your next words so tenderly.

“i love you so much.”

and dazai responds just as softly.

“i love you even more, my dear.”

wow this came out much longer than I thought whoopsies, anyways this guy definitively is secretly a cat person (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

[wolfiemcwolferson]

well, here we go, ig.

Charles opens his front door to find a cardboard box that's been taped shut with that clear packing tape, but there are holes cut into it and someone has written BITES in captial letters and it's been underlined for emphasis.

Goddamnit he thinks as he leans down over it, cognizant of the holes on the side. He isn't sure what kind of creature is in here, but it could be anything really. Someone once left a crow on his doorstep.

Hadn't he just been bragging to Alex that he hadn't had an animal drop-off for three whole weeks. Well, now he's got one.

Nothing darts out the side holes and there's not noise coming from the inside, so he picks it up carefully, feeling the weight of it in one corner.

"Hello," he coos, feeling guilty that he's got to get the poor thing in the exam room in the barn of his place before he's willing to open it. That's how he almost got hit by a truck on the highway - chasing a damn chicken because he opened the box.

No, he's learned his lesson.

"I know, sweetheart." He says again, "Just gotta get you round back and then we can see what's happening."

He hurries around the side of the house, kicking the side-door open that doesn't need to be locked at night and sets the box down on top of the freezer, digging for his keys when he hears the tiniest meow.

"Well, fuck." Charles abandons the keys, quick to rip the tape from the box and pull the flaps back to find one orange cat huddled in the corner of the box, staring up at Charles with wide eyes and flat ears. "You're just a little kitten, huh?"

The cat hisses.

"Okay, well, you're a big kitten. Vicious. Biter, huh?" Charles has turned back to his keys, inserting the right one in the lock before typing in the code to unlock the door.

"I need a mouser." Charles says, talking to the cat because he's in the habit of doing that - talking to his patients like they're human and can understand him. He's always done that. Alex says it makes him crazy. Charles invited him to become a rural vet and then tell him he's crazy.

"You could stay and by my mouser," Charles picks up the box where the cat is still huddled in the corner. "I'll give you a check-up," Charles tells them. "You can get all your vaccines and I'll feed you one can of wet food a day in exchange for mice from the horse barn, how does that sound?"

Charles now sets the box done on his desk, shaking his mouse to check his appointment book and also to pull a can of wet food from the filing cabinet behind him.

He sneaks a hand inside, trusting that this stray cat isn't going to bite him, just gives one knuckle to smell, and Charles is shocked when the cat bumps their head against it. "Oh, you're a darling, aren't you?"

Another weak meow from the cat and they unfurl, sitting up a bit straighter and Charles notices they look well fed - taken care of even. "I'll get you some food, yeah? Get you something to eat and then you'll let me examine you?" He turns towards the filing cabinet, unlocking it with his keys to dig a can of cat food from the back. "Make sure you're healthy? And then maybe we can find you a nice place in the barn, yeah? I have some blankets -"

Charles shrieks because the coffee mug on his desk shatters against the floor and a shard hits him in the back of the leg - dull and blunt - but he twists to find a man - a naked man.

Bright blue eyes, light brown hair mussed on top of his head, and completely fucking naked. He's got one leg over the other, perched on the edge of Charles' desk with feline grace.

"Well," he says softly but full of something like teasing, "Since you've agreed to let me stay forever."

Charles blacks out.

[wolfsnis]

Clover (7/4/09-6/28/24)

I had to put down my beloved cat Clover yesterday. He was about a week shy of his 15th birthday.

He had been having "teeth issues" about two years now, but hindsight is 20/20 and it was probably the cancer growing in his jaw all along. But we didn't know until this year, in April. Then he got some badly infected teeth removed and we thought that was the end of it, but about two weeks later we realized the vet's original prediction was correct. We suspected the cancer also spread to his brain, as his behavior got increasingly erratic in the last two weeks. On the 27th the tumor caused his jaw to break which pretty much inhibited him from eating and drinking. It was the right call to put him down, but it still absolutely destroyed me. I don't know if I will ever be the same.

We picked him and his sister up as newborns from the family farm. His mom gave birth to them during a flash flood so they had to be inside. My parents said they had a third sibling (probably the runt) that didn't make it, I don't remember tho. I won't upload them here for obvious reasons but there's pictures of me when I was five or so holding him when he was just a few days old. We didn't even have carriers when we took them home, me and my brother carried them in our arms the entire time. Definitely not safe now that I think about it.

He had been with me throughout my life. When I came home from school he would be meowing at the door to greet me. I could never sneak around at night without him joining me (and often being very loud while doing it, he was a very talkative cat) he loved people food and would regularly jump up on the dinner table to "join" us for dinner. If you left your meal unattended for a moment he would snatch it up. He liked to drink the milk out of the cereal bowls. We had to cover the sink when we had meat unthawing because he would help himself. He would also frequently raid the pantry and eat uncooked pasta for some reason. He had such a silly meow too, possibly the most masculine-sounding cat I've ever heard. I swear he could say some words like "mom" and "hello" when he wanted to. He was a smart little guy, so maybe. He was a surprisingly fearless cat too, one of the few I've ever met who wasn't afraid of the vacuum. He straight up did not give a fuck. One of my favorite activities was to wake him up while he was napping just to see him look at me all disgruntled and then settle back down. I don't know why, but it always made me smile. He also really loved the outdoors, despite the fact we never let him outside until the end. He had a very high prey drive and attempted to take down a magpie until the magpie tried to take him down, lol. He was a very happy, active, and loving cat right up until his last day. So much so we went back and forth on putting him down.

He was a very charming cat, everyone who came by the house would comment on him. He was so full of personality and loud, he wanted to be involved in everything and that included social gatherings. People absolutely loved him. I had several friends joke that they would steal him from us. He made such an impact on people. He was so beloved. Maybe even a micro celebrity in my small town.

I was distraught last year when I had to move out for college. I demanded pictures of them every day I was away. When I did come home I loved watching him sniff me and then light up in excitement and meow when he realized I was back. I really hope he didn't think I abandoned him.

Saying goodbye to him yesterday was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He's been such a huge part of my life for so long that the fact I have to go without him from now on feels like a foreign concept. I still don't know if I've fully processed the fact that he's really gone yet, if I think about it for too long I start to feel nauseous. I keep expecting him to round the corner and greet me or to hear him meowing when I close my bedroom door. My poor little buddy, I was really hoping you'd have a few years yet.

Rest easy my sweet boy. You were so much larger than life.

If you've read this far, thank you so much. Here's a gallery of him, bask in his greatness!

[rui-drawsbox]

Hello again, it’s me: the menace of your inbox 😎✨🤠✨🐊✨

for curtesies sake I’ll add a read more after I write one sentence of explanation.

I’m too busy to write a fic rn but the brain worms are so intense for Magical Girl Arashi that I will instead write an outline.

I’ll probably try to write em in an episodic fashion cuz like, magical girl anime :D:D✨✨✨

Cool so episode one should serve about three functions.

show how arashi gets her powers

establish the setting and foreshadow future characters

Get the view acquainted with the tone

so here’s how I’d go about it 🥰

Scene one:

Arashi should be in class

its a normal day

a new kid joins the class, it’s Mika

she notes that there’s something odd about him but like, in a comedic way that the audience won’t initially pick up on

he shouldn’t notice her at this point, she’s still a normal girl (still a queen, slay Fr I love her)

However he doesn’t make any friends for most of class and his introduction sounded like a robotic script, also he’s sitting alone, poor murderous baby 😭

anyways she, being the queen that she is, decides to talk to him after class and she gets a whole conversation with him

He doesn’t show it very well but he is happy to have a friend and offers her a bear charm instead of actually confirming that they’re friends (he’s real standoffish at this point so think how he acted to Anzu at first in the first game but like, a bit more tame) (cuz he ain’t allowed to really have friends, he’s just supposed to keep up appearances while Shu finds what he’s after)

School goes on, Arashi has lunch with Ritsu and Leo, we get a passing convo about them going to karaoke later, Leo laments that Izumi won’t go with them and the other two just kind of give him a sad look ig. Cuz he hasn’t gone with them in a really long time cuz he’s “busy” and “not interested in childish things right now” “too much work with ballet” (he’s lying💀✨. We’ll get to that later, I am having numerous thoughts)

School goes on once again and the day ends. Arashi walks home with her friends and they all go their separate ways.

while she is walking alone she hears this awful screeching sound, like a cat that’s super upset. So she, as any good cat mom would, follows it.

she finds a little kitty that’s being chased by these creepy looking Victorian dolls. They have golden strings attached to their feet that seem to trail on the ground as they walk. She doesn’t take much note of them tho. She’s too busy grabbing that cat and getting the hell out of there.

so she takes the cat back to her house and checks the poor baby for injuries. Thankfully the kitty is fine. However, things get a bit funky. (Magic cat.)

The cat puts a paw on her chest (like between her collar bones) and a little jewel mark appears there. Arashi is obviously very confused and concerned but the cat just purrs and meows at her.

She starts questioning the cat but like, ma’am despite the magic, that cat don’t talk. That cat meows, screams, and imitates barking noises to scare other cats. Fucking creature tbh. I love this cat.

also arashi is in her room on her bed btw, and there should be big windows by her bed, also she is on the ground floor. This is important.

so after a few minutes of questioning and getting meows for yes and shaken heads for no, the cat starts yowling and screaming and growling. So arashi is obviously very concerned.

There’s a thump on her window, the cat gets even louder.

she looks out and sees a… doll? Maybe a mannequin? It certainly looks large enough to be a mannequin. Huh, it has more of those gold strings. It’s beating on her window. Huh, wait, why is the window sliding open, FUCK!

Arashi grabs the cat and bolts while this mannequin chases her through the house. She does the smart thing and tries to call the police, there’s no response cuz the lines been cut and the service on her cell phone is out.

She tries to leave the house but each exit is being stalked by a different mannequin. So she runs to the bathroom to lock the door and hide.

(She tried to snap a photo of one of the mannequins btw, just in case she needed proof but when she looks at it later the photo will be obscured and unrecognizable so sucks to suck lmao 💀)

The cat gestures to the gem mark on her chest and tries to communicate with her to touch the mark. She does as the cat communicates and then she transforms. She gazes into the vast universe (the background from your art of her in her super magical girl form) and she sees a sword, a really pretty, majestic sword. She grasps the handle and her transformation starts.

anyways she doesn’t kickass yet, I’m sorry girlboss enjoyers, she ain’t a fighter yet, but she’s real strong and has the urge to kill to defend this kitty. So she wins, but just barely.

She also manages to avoid destroying her house in the process. So good for her. If the house was beaten up when her parents got home they would’ve had a fit.

Anyways the episode ends with her relooking all the doors and windows to her house and wondering what she got herself into with this cat. But the cat is cute so she doesn’t care. Also yes it is her cat from enstars. I love her cat so much.

That’s what I have for a possible episode one for this. I’ve got more ideas but I don’t have time rn. I’ll be back. My Izumi ideas are going crazy rn tbh. I’m gonna have a lot of fun implementing him lmao.

Also hi Rui, I hope you’re having a good day/night :D:D✨✨

my dude is your brain powered by the fukin sun or you are just a genius

anyways i can't possibly add anything to your outline. It's perfect. It was so good that even made me want to animate it and i went to search tutorials to the page i was going to use for my studies this year, and found out it was a scam HAHA

Local high school girl adopts transferred silly man

also what do you think about Arashi, Leo and Ritsu (and sometimes Izumi?) doing dance covers every now and then, i think it would be a good excuse for when she has to outrun the dolls(?)

fuck the twelve principles of animation, all my homies don't know what they're doing

ngl it would be a pretty horrific scenario to be in, lucky she😊!

also have you considered Arashi not knowing how the fuck a sword is used outside movies (and bc those dolls certanly look hard to break lol) and in the dispair uses it like a mf hammer? especially bc it's a real technique and it looks funny

anyways, stars from stock wallpaper, my beloveds

dont tell i dont know how to draw weapons i already know jsfhdkas

And Arashi just 'brushing' all that happend bc the cat is cute is the most magical-shoujo-protagonist thing that she could do lol

anyways im actually more motivated to animate than ever! my friend you just did the perfect first chapter for a series like that ajfads

good night my fellow AU enjoyer! Rui out! *explodes*

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP1 REACTION

i already know this is a dream sequence but opening on stede and izzy having a badass swordfight is dope

stede's fantasy is all about him looking and sounding super masc... babyboy that's not you...

HE FUCKING STABBED IZZY. HE KILLED HIM

and of course izzy's last words are "you absolute twaaaaaaaaaat" i'm fucking dying

AND THERE'S THE SLOMO BAYWATCH RUN GOD I LOVE IT

"knew you'd find me babe" and of course ed's got his beautiful beard back and he looks perfect and he loves stede's beard sfjgdskjgdshj stede

aaaaaaand f in the chat for stede's dream sequence, wee john is doing chemical warfare

"can't be worse than you moaning 'ed, oh, ed' all night long" f in the chat for black pete and the rest of the crew

AHAHAHA roach going "he's single" and shoving the swede at jackie. c'mon swede be a hobosexual for us we gotta sleep somewhere

"come closer. spanish jackie don't bite. i lied, i bite" and he giggles i am immediately on board congrats jackie on your 21st husband

love olu's fancy bartender waistcoat!

"i'll buy you a drink" this guy! the guy who's practically stede's twin! in the disco outfit that stede steals! is he the guy stede does a punch on? is he hitting on stede? oh my GOD where is this going

"richard banes. are you stede bonnet?" dear lord this guy could not have a posher accent. is he the guy who ends up with a fake nose. he's an undercover cop isn't he. how else does he know who stede is

awww fuck we're cutting to ed. shit's about to go down

(stede) "hope you're thinking of me as well" close-up on ed's TRUST NO-ONE tattoo. fuuuuuuuuck

and immediately the wedding ed's gonna crash is like some extremely classist/"we must breed more upper class, worthy humans" shit, so ed can do a little murder actually i immediately don't feel bad for them

"objection" ed can board a ship without anyone fucking noticing if it looks cool actually

THERE HE IS he's made everyone put on the emo paint. i keep pausing and rewatching this part. love izzy's sarcastic little smile

jim looks so fucking sexy

so does frenchie tbh

ed's just eating the cake. cake topper my beloved...

OH NO IVAN DIED. OFF-SCREEN. F IN THE CHAT. and frenchie only cares about the cake JUST KIDDING HE IS HARDCORE DISSOCIATING. poor fang tho...

stede taking down blackbeard's wanted poster... does he have a little shrine in the pig sty he's sleeping in. does he draw hearts on the posters

"he's just blowing off some steam" stede has decided the atrocities are cool and fun actually. atrocities are okay if the man doing them has big beautiful brown eyes too. what about it

"i also killed someone and stole their kiosk. sometimes action is better than vision" can we get sue on the crew? "that's what i've been telling him" "that's 'cause you're the smart one" sue confirms that olu is the only crewmember with a brain cell

'we can't turn up with any old ship, we need to look good" STEDE. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD.

ed putting the little cake topper in his breast pocket next to his heart i'm going feral

"did everyone get cake?" "yeah they got cake"

ed is doing drugs and izzy has never looked more miserable and soggy. he looks like someone dunked him in an inkwell

OH HERE'S THE SCENE. THE SAD WET MEOW MEOW SCENE

shit's gotta be really bad if izzy needs to be rocked and cuddled while he cries... babyboy you should have just let ed hold the talent show...

i am not at all surprised that jackie's taking all of stede and co.'s savings. this is jackie's house. jackie does not have a tip jar. you're in the republic of pirates hide it better next time

BOO CAKES!

well you didn't even get jackie and the swede a wedding present. this is her wedding present. HIDE THE JAR BETTER-

"what if we took that back?" "i think my husbands would have a problem with that. have you met all twenty of 'em?" PAUSING TO LOOK AT THE HUSBANDS.

"that's a lot of husbands" black pete misses his husband, tails. he misses him a lot

love the one wearing no shirt and a tight waistcoat/corset thing with the axe. one's got cool glasses. two of them are either super twinky or lady-husbands, excellent either way (jackie and her lady-husbands, nandor and his guy-wives... beautiful...)

EDIT: THE TWO HUSBANDS ARE TRANS GUYS HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

"i know that guy we had breakfast together" "you will be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh ok" sometimes a family is a pirate businesswoman and her 20 19 18 20 husbands and we stan

maybe the sexy axe husband cooked the breakfast. i am delighting in imagining them being all cute and domestic until jackie needs them to stand around and look intimidating and then they all scramble into position. their job is to cook breakfast and look sexy and scare the shit out of anyone jackie points them at

i like to imagine that as soon as one of jackie's husbands died she's like fuck i gotta get a new one to make up the numbers. my brand is 20 husbands i can't be seen with only 19. who's new in town that is remotely attractive. ooh, swedish blondie with a metal tooth, he'll look nice next to the one in glasses

anyway stede and co. are now homeless rip

why does roach have buttons on a rope leash sfhdskjghsgk is buttons so desperate to return to his true love (the sea) that they have to treat him like a toddler trying to run into traffic

"dear ed, i think i'm afraid to see you. i'm not afraid you're gonna kill me, i'm afraid your life is better without me!" I AM GOING TO LOSE IT. SOMEONE GET THIS POOR BOY SOME SELF-ESTEEM

i paused on the wanted poster and it said "wanted for theft brigandry larceny arson tax evasion" sgkjhsfgkjsfhgk the fucking IRS is going to find ed before stede does

"could be. could be, mate" stede your ed impression sucks shit

oh god richard's there. are you a cop or just a fan.

"the gentleman pirate saved my life! quite frankly, you're my hero!" with his fancy fucking coat oh god stede has a fan. stede has a copycat fan. AND STEDE'S NOW HAPPY OH MY GOD I AM HITTING HIM WITH A HAMMER (affectionate)

he fed stede a line about jackie's roman puzzle chest... i don't fucking trust this guy i'm convinced he's either a navy plant or a husband plant...

(if he is truly just a baby stede i'm putting him in a jar and shaking him (affectionate))

I FUCKING LOVE THE SWEDE

oh god back to ed's depression den

"not good enough. and that's another toe. take your boot off." okay ed, i know you're trying to get izzy or anybody to kill you in your sleep or something but i'm still. noooo don't commit atrocities you're soo sexy aha

"who am i to you" oh god. shit's gotta be really really fucking bad if izzy's doing emotional intimacy

"i have... love for you, edward" i'm going to explode

first of all izzy is delusional if he thinks he knows ed better than anyone else - we know and love this about him

second, con's fucking acting is going to kill me. he's looking at the floor, there are tears in his eyes, he's whispering and pauses as if saying the word love is going to kill him (and it's not just the emotional repression considering how volatile ed is)

and the way the line is written - it's not "i love you" or "i'm in love with you", it's not a thing izzy does or is, it's a thing he has. an object he's carrying around, separate to him, he's trying to distance himself from it.

and of course ed interrupts him with "oh come on" because he does not trust that anyone actually loves him and he doesn't want anyone to any more, he wants izzy to hate him and kill him!

"i'm worried about you, we all are. the atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned. but if we could all just maybe... talk it through" SHIT'S GOT TO BE REALLY REALLY UNQUESTIONABLY HORRIFICALLY FUCKING BAD IF IZZY IS ADOPTING STEDE'S CATCHPHRASE

ed, ominously "as a crew" as blackbeard's leitmotif starts up... WORST CHOICE OF WORDS EVER IZZY I'M TERRIFIED

izzy: i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up

POOR FANG IS WHIMPERING ED DON'T SCARE HIM!!!!!

"i know who we should ask, ol' blackbeard!" (shoves gun under his own chin) jesus christ ed

"FUCKING END!" izzy has had ENOUGH

AND AS SOON AS HE SAYS STEDE'S NAME ED SHOOTS HIM

"frenchie, you are now first mate" STEPS OVER IZZY GROANING IN PAIN

i am very worried

HARD CUT TO THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO

oh god stede's adopted ricky. this can only end terribly

aaaaaand f in the chat for ricky's nose

"i can't believe you guys robbed jackie! so bad!" swede.

jackie looks gorgeous though

SUE IS OF COURSE THE BADASS PIRATE QUEEN

and jackie loves her a sexy swedish double-crosser

thank you sue for adopting the gang of idiots

OH GOD JIM AND ARCHIE MOPPING UP IZZY'S BLOOD. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD

poor fang is still crying

awwww and jim's telling him pinocchio to calm him down! (but they suck at telling stories)

"do the voice"

and jim does the fucking voice

ed sounds like he's holding back tears as he describes sailing and robbing and never landing

"fuck you, stede bonnet" "good night, ed teach" HHHHHHH

stede come on man pick up a fucking oar you're not the captain any more

at least we got one romantic reunion! and it was buttons and the ocean <3

sdkfjhsdkjgsdk everyone being like "are we soup merchants now? sweet" and olu with his poor overworked brain cell like "hang on... there's no soup here"

ZHENG YI SAO FUCK YEAH BAY BEE

AFTER CREDITS SEQUENCE!!! storytime with jim extended edition!!!!!

[moonchild-things]

Chapter Twenty-Three: Reign of the Small King

Summary: Being a psychic is not an ideal life, at least for Saiki Kusuo. Didn’t you read/watch The Disastrous Life of Saiki K to know that? Still, this isn’t about him, not really. Instead, let’s focus on his one and only friend, Akari Watanabe, who is also quite abnormal. You might not believe that Saiki would actually have a friend, but that’s what fanfictions are about, right?  

Word Count: 2620

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ARE YOU A CAT PERSON OR A dog person? Personally I’m a dog person. I mean you can’t go wrong with a cute little puppy. MJ is more of a cat person, which makes sense since she’s also pretty lazy and would like to lay around a lot. So she can relate to cats  on a spiritual level, I suppose. Though if it wasn’t obvious, we’re now at that episode where we met that little shit. Let’s just get it over with shall we.

After another day of school, Akari and Saiki were taking their daily walk back home. On their way they ran into a couple of girls fawning over an adorable cat on the side of the road. Really it was quite the cute kitty, I wish to give it a nice scratch under the chin.

“I’m often asked if I’m a dog person or a cat person.” Saiki started to say, “My answer is, “who cares?” Even the cutest of gods and cats end up looking like this and this.” Basically just two piles of bones. “Let me ask you this. Do you prefer the bones on the left or the right? The answer is, “It doesn’t matter,” isn’t it?” They continued to watch the two girl scratch the cat under its chin and giggle. Akari blinked at how childish they sounded talking to it, since she doesn’t get all baby-talk when seeing a cute animal. “Some people base their choices on the preconceptions they hold such as “dogs seem smart,” or “cats are spoiled.” But that’s just a wrong assumption people make.” 

Apparently the cat actually had quite a deep voice as was thinking, ‘Don’t touch me, you female hominoid.’ How lovely. Then again, I also wouldn’t wanna just be pet nonstop. I’m surprised it hasn’t just bitten them yet.

“That’s what they’re thinking.” Saiki said as he and Akari turned to continue their walk home. “Since I can hear the voices of animals with my telepathic powers, I have no preconceptions. Summer or Winter? Winter. Mushrooms or bamboo shoots? Mushrooms. But a question regarding dogs and cats is too vague for me to answer. It’s like asking me if I prefer Mr. Sato or Mr. Suzuki.”,

‘Personally, I like cats more.’ Akari mentally commented. ‘Only because dogs tend to be more energetic.’ Yeah, she wouldn’t be able to keep up with an enthusiastic dog if all she wants to do is nap most of the time. That would just be annoying. Though it’s not like Akari has any real experience with pets of any kind, since her family has never had any. She isn’t exactly sure why, since her father definitely seems like a dog person and her mother seems like a cat person. Plus Rikuto and her have never asked for a pet, so there’s no reason that they would have one.

Just as they were walking down the last stretch of road towards their house, Saiki spotted something out of the corner of his eye. It was an orange cat with a red bandana around its neck, and he was stuck between two buildings. How he got there, no ones really sure. Though who wouldn’t help this poor, defenseless, little ball of fluff in such a situation?

Akari eyed him for a moment, a bit sympathetic with it. After all, it was a cute little thing in distress, anyone feel like helping it to safety, right? Right? Saiki just stared at it blankly, not really being swayed by the fact that it was in trouble. Akari would have been willing to help had it not been for Saiki gently pulling her along, him wanting to just forget about the cat so they could get home sooner.

Now the cat certainly wasn’t happy with that as it started to whine, ‘Wait! Come back, human! Stop!’

Saiki grunted, “Good grief.”

Hearing the distressing meows, Akari pursed her pale lips. ‘Shouldn’t we at least help the poor thing?’ She wondered, ‘it’s wedged in there quite a bit.’ She’s not even sure how he could have gotten in there. So am I. Why is he stuck so high up? Did he fall from above? Did he think it was a good idea to try climbing up in between the wall? We’ll never know, I guess.

Saiki just gave her a side glance as they stopped walking. “After hearing his thoughts, I don’t think you would want to.” He sometimes admired Akari for having her sympathetic out looks sometimes, but this wasn’t the time for it, in his opinion. Especially for this spoiled little cat.

‘Huh?’ Akari blinked in a bit of confusion. To prove his point, Saiki allowed her to have shared telepathy in order to hear the cat's thoughts. 

The stuck animal then started to rant to itself, with the two teens able to hear it now. The cat huffed, ‘I can’t believe those guys. How could they ignore a cute animal in distress? You would at least think that the weird looking girl would!’ Akari narrowed her eyes at that, how is she weird looking? They walked back over to the crevice to stare at the cat. The cat seemed a bit excited now, thinking that he was going to be free. ‘Now, hurry up and get me out! Play your cards right, and I’ll let you pet me.’ The two teens shared a bored glance before sliding away. No, they didn’t want to help this stuck up pest. The cat started to wail in desperation, ‘What? Wait! Hold up!’

‘His voice is annoying,’ Akari grunted with narrow eyes. She would have been better off never hearing that grating voice today. Though she doesn’t usually get what she wants. After all, where did that cat get off on saying that she’s weird looking? That definitely annoyed her a bit and less likely to help him. It wasn’t cute to be rude like that. Not at all.

Saiki paused as he sighed heavily, “Good grief. What a pain.” If it meant stopping those pesky whines, then he’d help.

‘What are these guys doing?’ The cat was then hit by a thought, ‘Oh! They must be dog people!’

Saiki blinked slowly, “I wasn’t either, but I feel more drawn to dogs now.” He said boredly, “Anyway, do you want me to help you or not?”

The cat now just stared at him in confusion, ‘What is going on? I can hear his voice even though he hasn’t been talking.’ 

“Yes. It’s because I’m talking directly to your brain since I can’t speak cat.”

‘Wait, is he a… cat?’ Huh? Why would he think that? The cat then focused on Akari, ‘you must be too, with your eyes like that.’

Akari raised an eyebrow, ‘we’re in an anime, people have weird and abnormal features, get used to it.’

Saiki rolled his eyes, “Neither of us are.”

Disregarding that, the cat the continued, ‘Oh, then it makes things easier.’

“Yes.” Saiki said, “All you have to do is say, “Please help me.””

Though the cat didn’t seem like he was able to even follow that simple instruction. ‘Now, help me already. Play your cards right, and I’ll even let you pet me.’ Just how stuck up is this thing!? Akari and Saiki just about to slid away again, but the cat called out to them, ‘What? Wait! Okay! Let’s make a deal! If you get me out of here, you may pet me for three minutes straight! You can even touch my paws…’ Yup and now they were leaving again. It’s a deal that MJ might take, but eh. ‘No! They’re gone! Wait, okay! You can rub under my chin, too! Just hear me out at least! Why are they so arrogant?’ Them? Arrogant? Don’t make me laugh!

“Can’t you just say, “Please help me”?” Saiki asked the stubborn cat.

Akari agreed, ‘In your situation, you can be just a little nicer, you know.’

‘“Please help me”? Get real!’ The cat scoffed, ‘Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m a cat! Why would a proud, elite organism like me, bow my head to a lower being like a human?’

Saiki asked Akari, “What is he talking about?” Though she just shrugged her shoulders, not really certain what he meant.

‘Humans might think they’re superior, but face the reality! Humans present us with food when all we do is sleep. But that’s not all! You forgive us even when we tip over the garbage can! Or if we hit reset on your video game, you still forgive us! Or if we spill ink on those panels that are almost due, you barely forgive us! The world revolves around us cats. We cats rule this world.’ Okay, okay, we get it. Once more the pair of teens started walking away. ‘Hey! Get back here!’

They walked back over and Saiki asked, “How many more times are we going to repeat this? This is getting tiring.”

‘You’re the one making me repeat myself.’

“Let me just say one thing to you.”

‘What?’

“Say, ‘Please help me.’” Saiki said menacingly, “This is your last chance. I’m not coming back again.”

‘What is it with this guy? How could he talk to a cat like this? Does he not want to pet me?’ The cat flashed them his cutest eyes and waved his paws around towards them. A last ditch attempt to get them to help him. Though it wasn’t going to work. ‘No, they must be bluffing! There is no way they could abandon such a cute cat like me… There is no… they can! I’m definitely sensing that he can!’ He then panicked as they were leaving AGAIN, ‘Wait! Okay! I’ll say it! You win!’ Good grief. ‘Please help me.’ There, happy?”

Akari rolled her eyes, ‘Looked like it pained you to say that.’

“Who would find that cute?”

‘What?’

“Hurry up and get out,” Saiki grunted. He then grabbed the side of the building and casually pushed it to the side. Like it was nothing but a small block instead of a giant building! 

‘What is with this guy?’ The cat hissed now a bit fearful of this extremely powerful human. Saiki then walked over towards him, ‘What are you going to do to me? Oh! Is he going to pet me? I knew it! You can’t help yourself, can you? Go on. Pet me as much as you want.’ Though Saiki just grabbed his school bag and walked away. Towards Akari who was waiting for him to be over and done with this. The cat then started to rage at the slight against him and his cuteness. ‘What? How dare you! I will show you how terrifying cats can be!’

Akari rolled her eyes once more, “What a nuisance.”

---

Walking through the front door, Akari sighed as she slid out of her shoes. The only hiccup that she had in her day was that arrogant little fur ball. She did believe to be a bit of a cat person since they were overall lazy and slept all day, like herself. Though after meeting that cat, she’s become a bit apprehensive towards them. Sure, she wouldn’t wanna judge all cats because of that one arrogant one, but she’ll think all cats are that stuck up to a certain extent. After all, he was somewhat right. People do treat cats like royalty.

Though after that annoyance, she and Saiki got to relax like normal with each other at his house. His father wasn’t home and his mother left them alone after gushing over Akari a bit. So a normal end to her day, just how she liked it. Now, it was getting darker out and Akari felt like she should head home. So here she was, gliding into her home to get some dinner and head to bed.

“Welcome home, my shining light!” Yamato greeted his daughter warmly. “You’re just in time! I’m finishing up dinner right now!” His excited personality was quite refreshing to Akari, something that she surprisingly looked forward to when she came home. 

She hummed, “smells great, dad.”

Putting away the last of the used pans in the dishwasher, Yamato walked over to sit at the dinner table. He was certainly ready to wait for his children at the table like normal. “Have you heard from Rikuto? It’s getting late out and I’m worried.” He then gasped loudly, a sudden horrifying thought striking him like lightning. “What if he’s been kidnapped!?”

“Calm down," Akari sighed at his dramatics. "He's probably fine. He's just a little late.” Though she still did feel a little bad at the sight of the worried tears in her father's eyes. Still she thought it was unfounded, Rikuto wouldn't be kidnapped! He's a smart enough kid and not many people get kidnapped. Plus that would be a little too dark for this fanfic.

Just as she was saying that the front door opened. The creaking sound made Yamato's heart soar as he rushed over to it. It was Rikuto who was coming in. Though there was something a little bit off. He appeared nervous for some reason. Though Yamato disregarded that or didn’t see it as he jumped over to his son with a hug. “Ah, my darling boy! You’re safe!” 

“Dad!" Rikuto shouted as he fought against him, "Stop!” 

Yamato wouldn't let up, however, as the boy tried to wriggle himself out of the situation. Though that didn't work and all it accomplished was having his backpack thrown to the ground by accident. Strangely, a high pitched yelp came from the bag. All of them froze. Yamato and Akari were confused while Rikuto started to sweat due to nerves.

Akari blinked at that, “Uh oh.”

The bag started to move as something was obviously inside of it. Just what had Rikuto put in his bag? Shuffling itself out of the bag, it was the same orange cat from earlier. Akari deadpanned, 'just my luck.'

“Oh my!" Yamato gushed with stars in his eyes. "How adorable! Where did you find this little guy?”

Rikuto bent down to the cat and scratched its head, “He was just meowing outside of the Saiki house, so I just picked him up and brought him in here." He turned his bug puppy-dog eyes towards his father. "Can we keep him?”

Yamato hummed, “Hmm, we’ll have to make sure your mother is ok with it. But I don’t see why not. I mean look at him!”

"Awesome! Our first pet!"

The two continued to gush over the cat and most likely newest member to the family. Akari wasn’t sure, but it definitely seems like that little cat was quite smug at the moment as it acted all cute and adorable with them. She narrowed her eyes, 'You pest.'

Akari is alright with animals and wouldn't mind a pet. Why did it have to be this cat? Any other would do! Though she didn't want to disturb her brother and father's moment gushing over the cat and just let them be. 

Long story short, after the three had dinner and the boys kept treating the cat as royalty, Miku finally came home. She was in a good mood, most likely due to a good deal made earlier in the day. That good mood helped add to her agreeable to keeping the cat. Sure, she isn't home all that much anyway, so she won't totally interact with it. Though she's fine with that. She was happy(which would be barely noticeable to those who aren't her family.) and seeing her husband and son excited about a cat fueled her too. So… Looks like Watanabe has a new family member. Hooray? 

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[david-box]

Honeymoon States liveblog thing I wrote in my notes app but I post it a week late lol

Kendall having a poor little meow meow moment over here. Who's fucking house is this honestly do they all just fucking move all the time. Shout-out to Roman drinking from the sink same bro. Shiv looking real forlorn. Wait who's Sharon. SHES FUCKING PREGNANT. WHAT. WHATTT. WHAT. she's upset. Aw man.

The dark piano tones right when they're on an elephant always gets me. I'm surprised they didn't change the intro. Ope, Kendall with the big sunglasses again in the paparazzi, here we go again, back in the penthouse he ain't been in for years. Oh shit, Marcia!!! He spoke every morning and afternoon? Goddamn. Fuck. Oh um. Thanks. Marcia. Who was Hugo cussing out, lol. Kenda is surrounded by a lot of people he doesn't really know right now sitting in his home. Love how Roman's IDed by his finger taps. Like how he went from the dark room to the white room going from random ass sorry for your loss shit to his siblings joking around as soon as possible. Roman not processing it lol. Freight train a coming. Pre grieved. Lol. Coronation demolition derby right as Tom walks in. Love how Greg is just tall. And Shiv looks away on purpose right as Greg looks in. Glad to see Tom stepping into the finances gang - they don seem to mind his presence. He's not focused on it though till he brings up CEO and Franks method of getting them off to another room is fantastic. I get the sense they're more in charge than the kids are. One hour! Wild Oh, look, shit show reference. Glad they're not fired. Oh man Cousin Greg just. Walks in. Bruh. Dude you're not the family. Bruh. Dude. Bro. Greg. Bro. Get a new mommy love you Roman lol. Bro pick the phone up.

Interim thing. What's his face doesn't seem honest to me tbh. They're trying to take over. Tom: screw ups and dipshits *discussing his wife and in laws* lol. They're not gonna like that choice Charles or whatever your name is. They're have power too. Like Katrina vying for Gerri which Roman could swing for. Oh so CFO and Frank are in cahoots then lol. Poor Tom. I don't think Karl wants to leave by parachute anymore. love how Gerris like you were relevant in the 90s :-). Katarina walks off and Toms like yo. Don't fire me.please. Gerri calls him out loll. Good for him to brush it off. I think eating helps. Toms face shshhshssha.that is strong words Karl.bro. Damn dude could a made yourself useful. Mattson is ignoring him because Roman didn't answer. Shiv openly nervous lolll. Reconfigure in a week bro nah man. No lost of momentum. We're gonna do this rn lol. Why is Mattson pushing? Love her facial expressions lol. This is the annual retreat :-) come to us rn lol :-) *swedish accent*

Greg is tall. Marcia is like who the duck is Greg. Marcia's like look how far you've come :-) and Willas like we're both escorts bitch :-). Their honeymoon is a presidential tour. Coolio. She is so mad. ????????? Why would Marcia sell it. How does she own the penthouse. 60 and 70 million WHATTT the fuckkk WHY DOES SHE OWN THE HOUSE. what the fuck was that. She sold immediately. Idk if he wanted to buy at 63 lol. Role as executer.... What's the paper.... Tell us. Bro. Go away bruh. Get lost. Lol. Karl.Im kidding ;-) lol. In a humorous way. Those little princes.... Lol. Gerri wants you out? We might as well show her lol. It's his will ohhhhh nooo. Okay. He penciled something in last minute. Not Germain as long as as they don't know. Gerri is so funny lolll.

Con you gonna tell em they don't have the house anymore. At least Willa gets back to the city if she even likes it. Love how he's not even full front page. Dad sounds great would have loved to meet him. I think Connor really doesn't have a clue well no he's lying lol. That's mature Ken. The reviews are in, 5 stars. Noon. Hugo doing his own thing bruh y'all are so rich. Hugo asking for help :-( insider trading Hugo bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. I can't recollect bruh bro. Hugo. Hugo. I don't think Kendall can fix that. A "complicated man." Roman sitting in his old chair. He won't fuck a child because he won't even hug his grandkids aaaaahhahha okay poor Shiv tho lol. Shiv giving Tom the death glare lol. Bruh what water buddy. You can't say the slate is clean that's their job. Girl?? Lol still curious to see what the will says. Here to serve. Good luck. Yep that's that buddy. Nice doors. They're telling them?? Kendall? It's old damn. 4 yrs ago. Shivs head shake is wild. Look dude it does look like either. Interim position so why vye for it bro. Shiv is correct it's not decipherable but Kendall keys her in asap lol. So he did plan his funeral. Shiv dealing with the fact it was never going to be her. Roman's handling this best. That would be the dream financially speaking bruh lol. Oh they called Greg in? Disbursements. Nice. Penciled addendum with a question. Hwhahaahahah what??? Noooo Greg buddy. You have to work. Poor Karl. You don't have a good rapport bud. Poor Gerri is like this literally has no legal meaning please don't do thissss. Kendall. Buddy. Take the money and run. Is it real. There's that again. He *sometimes* wanted it. Karl really has affection for Kendall. He really does think this. Still Buddhist Kendall? Jackass. No Karl's not gonna follow buddy.

Poor Shiv. Shiv wearing a waist cincher while pregnant. Sad. Tom what the fuck does "you'll regret it" even mean you did pick the wrong horse. Asshole. Shiv is not happy. Shiv thinks she killed him? He was old. He misses the idea of him :-(. Tom missed her implication there. This is sweet. He loves her. He really does. She's trying not to cry. Colon has jeans on??. Lol. Dog without it's person. Not wrong. Secret service sweep?? Bro? Who the fuck is Mencken. Spooky embryo is funny. I think I have a counter veto lol my dad just died too. Who the fuck is doing this bruh. Giant of the conservative moment WAIT IPHONE FROM THE CLOGGED TOILET????? TOM???? bruh???? No compression socks for Kerry's sake??? This is evill!! Aaahhhh ahaha. Into the shape of a dick -> come on - bro Tom buddy lol. Paleolibertarian?? Dude. Connor dude. Shelby is here. Wild. He's literally smiling. Greg kissing up to Marcia for literally no reason bruh. She's crying right away. Damn. Fuck me that's a lotta drugs Christ alive. Arrangements for what. Greg shut the fuck up seriously. Oh his name Sandy. We should talk (walks off) lol.

These scenes flow well. That was sneaky Tom. Lip balm Tom Wam. He's smiling bc it still works. Heyyyyy stewey! Bro. Pulmonary embolism. That's a quick one. Stewey is funny. I hope he doesn't ask to push the sale. Stewey is gonna pull for Kendall ehhhh maybe. I don't think he thinks Kendall should do this. Pubes got singed lol. Kendall is trying to say he got blackmailed without saying it. Hey, haunted house reference. Drinking in the dark sounds pretty good. What's in it for me -> my dad is dead so please 🥺:-( . Willa wants it bigger. Everyone else is trying to avoid the meeting lol poor ken. Kendall. Dude. Who gives a shit? Why push Connor out?? Even Roman doesn't want to.

You have an issue with me that's fine (it's not). Shiv wants to grieve. Ger bear. Not Gerri, just not you. They want it together but it can't happen. Kendall is saying no lol. Hes lyinnnnggggg. This is like a pick 2 triangle. The fucking paper dude bro. Kendall went from yes shiv to no shuv as soon as Roman came in bruh. Roman pushes Shiv out. Ouch. It is but it isn't. It's holding but it isn't. I don't think Roman wants to fuck Shiv here vut Kendall might. Boss bitch eyyy. They tried to bluff Roman but Shiv gets that they don't actually understand or know that voicemail, asking if he's a cunt is pretty good for em lol. They're vying for this like it's permanent but it can't be. God you people are all fucking stupid. Ken and Rome. Ken and Rome. Who is shouting long live the king and the other king. Oh they meet on the steps again. Ouch that has GOT to sting ow.

That's a nice desk. Sudoku. Kendall didn't know bro you're such a shit liar. His jackets still there? Wild. Bring shiv in you assholes. Is Roman looking at his Viagra. The markets.... Dum dum dum dum dum.... Drums dadaddadada.... Operation embalm Lenin. Toughest version is correct. The paper is not strong dude. His kids were pulling the strings. I have quesineess (but is silent) they should absolutely shit on dad tho. Kendall buddy I don't think that's an underline. It wouldn't be. They redid the bathroom. I think Shiv knows he's fucked. Dhshhshs Jesus Christ Kendall what the fuck is wrong with you. What does soft no prints mean bro. Kendall pulling Hugo along with that leverage damn. Ouch. What control does he even have here over insider trading? Nice ending song tho.

[wardenparker]

You, Me & Mexico

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16.9k Warnings: Mentions of deceased spouse and child (of course, it’s Jack), previous relationship, cursing, food mentions, alcohol consumption, aggressive use of a baseball bat, vaginal sex, unprotected sex. Dad!Jack, unplanned pregnancy (after the fact). Summary: Moving to New York with your teenage daughter would have been a big enough change all on its own. But when your new next-door neighbor rings your doorbell, your whole world is about to get flipped upside down.  Notes: This silly little ‘What If?’ is inspired by our dear devotion to the Yeehonk Cowboy of Our Hearts, but also by the fact that I just got the results of my DNA kit back. Enjoy! 🤠🧡

Nothing ever stops moving from being stressful. Not the adventure, the chance to get away from that one annoying coworker in your office, not even being excited for the beautiful brownstone in the West Village that your grandmother left to you in her will. There's always things to worry about no matter how carefully you plan. What if something happens to your furniture on that moving truck? What if something important gets lost? Or left behind? What if the cat freaks out in his carrier because your fourteen-year-old has been playing the same song on repeat for the last two hours and the poor little ball of fluff just can't take it anymore? Thankfully, there doesn't seem to be any kind of horrific crisis with this move. At least not yet.

It's a sunny, cool morning in New York City and every passerby on the street seems happy to ignore your existence, leaving you to direct the movers as they bring the last of your things inside the biggest home you've ever owned. Mallory is already up in her room shoving furniture around to find the best configuration in her new room, and no doubt Astro is meowing his approval or disapproval with every change.

Getting settled will take a little time. New York City is nothing like anyplace you have lived before. But with a teenager who desperately wants to be a musician one day and the chance to actually own your own home? Asking your company for a transfer to the Manhattan office had been a no-brainer. "Maybe you'll meet somebody." Your mother had said, when you had told her you were moving. "There's so many men in New York City!" But you had insisted that the only man you needed in your and Mallory's life was your tomcat, and left it at that. There's just no use in pretending that you haven't compared every man in the last fourteen years to the man who gave you your daughter.

******

Groaning, Jack opens his eyes to the sounds of people working outside. Not unusual for a city that is constantly busy, but this is right outside his windows. Right. New people are moving in next door. The sweet old lady that had been his neighbor in passing for the last six years had died. Apparently leaving her house to her granddaughter. Sighing, the Statesman agent rolls out of bed and shuffles towards his bathroom. His body aches and he feels every day of his forty-one years after the beating he had taken on his last mission. For the first time since he had become an agent, Jack Daniels was looking forward to sitting at the office.

******

"Last load." One of the movers tells you, carefully pulling his hand-truck loaded with boxes marked Master Bedroom up the ramp they laid over your front steps when everyone arrived this morning.

“Thank you so much.” At this point there's nothing left for you to do but haul yourself inside, and you take a moment to lean against your front steps and really take it all in. The three-floor brownstone is sandwiched in the middle of a fully populated street and your grandmother's little window boxes are crammed full of cooking herbs and pansies that give the house a welcoming feel. You'll definitely keep those, you think, looking up and down the length of the building. But maybe not the faded floral curtains just inside.

******

The inside of his brownstone had been updated when it was chosen as his residence in New York. Modernized and filled with Statesman technology, but the thing he loves most is the walk-in shower. The hot water on demand beats down on the blooming bruises that ache and the stiff joints. He’s getting old, a realization he hates when he’s lived for the job for twenty years, since he lost the reason for living for someone else. The only other bright spot when he got down in his feels was the month-long interlude to his grief that is something he looks back on with fondness of an old love.

******

It's more than a half an hour later when the movers are vacating your new home, and you can hear Mallory happily crowing inside about having her own bathroom. For a teenager, finally having her own bathroom separate from her mother is the absolute epitome of privacy, and it makes you smile to hear her happy about something relatively simple. She had had to leave her few friends behind to start fresh in the big city, but you're not worried about her making new ones. She had her father's charm, for better or for worse, and people are drawn to her just like you were drawn to him fifteen years ago. With a contented sigh, you pull out your phone to take a few pictures of the front of the house now that it's officially home. You promised your mom that you would send them, after all. At some point today you'll have to search out the nearest grocery store, but not this very moment.

Getting dressed, Jack wonders about the new neighbor. He had been nosy, looking out the windows and saw evidence of a kid, at least a teenager. He chuckles to himself, wondering if the newest residence had been told about the raccoon that frequents the back gardens between the houses and loves to raid the trash cans. As he buttons up his dress shirt, he decides that after work, he’ll be neighborly and introduce himself.

 Three Weeks Later:

"Mal, take the groceries in through the kitchen door, sweetie, not the front door." Once a week grocery trips to the market have been a whole different experience than your old chain grocery store used to be, but now you've got a bunch of bags of fresh things that are brand new favourites to fill your kitchen with. The trick is to remember that you technically have two front doors here, and the old servants' entrance to the 120-year-old brownstone leads directly into the kitchen, so you don't have to climb your front steps to go into the parlour-level front door and then down the stairs inside to get to the kitchen.

No neighbors have emerged to introduce themselves in the time since you moved in, but you figure that's just New Yorkers keeping to themselves and you don't worry about it. Mallory's school year has begun and even with the change of location, work is just work. New York isn't feeling all too different from anywhere else so far, except for the neighbors being less nosy. And honestly? That's just fine with you. Tonight you're making Mal's favourite dinner to celebrate finally unpacking the last box, and that required a big grocery trip. You're not inclined to skimp, though, because you really would do anything for your little girl. Even if she's a lot less "little" then she used to be.

******

Living in the city had taken some time to get used to. He was comfortable here now, enjoying the way that he had convenience to everything, but he missed the sense of community he had in Kentucky. While they were spread out, people waved and talked and asked about the family when they saw one another. Here, he didn’t see his neighbors, still not having gotten a look at the new ones that had moved in three weeks ago. That’s partly his fault, getting caught up at work had made it easy to continuously put off going over and introducing himself. So he’s making up for it.

The large white box in his hand holds a selection of – in his opinion – the finest bakery selections in the city. Which is saying something. Jack pops up the steps of the neighboring brownstone, his knees protesting creakily, and rings the bell.

It's surprisingly easy to hear the doorbell from downstairs in the kitchen, although you don't know anyone who would be ringing it. Maybe this is your first taste of door-to-door proselytizing that you never got living in small towns. "I'll be right back," you tell Mallory before hustling up to the front door. When you peak through the peephole in the door there's a man standing on your front step but his back is turned, so you just figure what the hell and pull open the door. "Hi. Can I help you?"

Jack turns around, the charming, easy smile on his face freezing when he comes face to face with you. You’re older, he can tell, but the time has been good to you. Dumbfounded for a moment, he gasps out your name, wondering suddenly if he’s gotten shot in the damn head again and is dreaming.

“Jack?” Swearing you could faint right there on the spot; you swallow down the panic crawling up your throat and try to quell the shock on your face. Of course it’s him. You see those eyes and that smile every single time you look at your daughter. “H—how…I mean…what—what are you doing here?” He has a box in those large hands that you used to know so well, and there are more crow’s feet around those questioning eyes, making you wonder if he came here intentionally. If that goddamn kit you did with Mallory might have sent him to your doorstep somehow. God, how did he get even more handsome? That’s not fair…

“Me? I – you live here?” Jack asks, trying to overcome his surprise at seeing you again. He can’t help but think you are still gorgeous.

“Just moved in.” Still in your work clothes and not yet dressed for comfort, you step outside and pull the front door mostly shut behind you. You can still hear inside if you need to, but this way Astro can’t make a break for it. “How did you find me?” After all, you had searched for years and never managed to find a single trace of him. Not that you knew much in the first place.

The truth is, he didn’t find you. He purposely never went looking for you, not wanting to see the life that he wasn’t a part of. He had been so messed up from Allita’s death, losing his unborn son, that he had vowed to never find that kind of love again. So when he had found himself missing you, he had sworn that he would never go looking. And he hadn’t. “I— uh, well—” Jack flashes you a small smile, as if it was just the most unusual thing. “I’m your neighbor.” He admits, turning to point to the townhouse right to your left. “Lived here for years. Did you— were you related to Mrs. Jones?”

There was a hopefulness alongside the worry in your heart that you hadn’t felt until just now – as it twists in your chest and extinguishes completely. He hadn’t found you at all — this was all an accident. “She was my grandmother.” You tell him honestly, winding your arms around yourself like a shield. “She left me the house when she died.” It was a generous gift, of course, and caused a small amount of family drama, but your grandmother’s will was specific: the West Village brownstone that she had lived in for almost her entire adult life was to go to you and Mallory. “You…uh…you knew her?”

“Not well.” Jack admits, shamefaced. “Work keeps me busy, but I would help her when she needed something moved or when the damn raccoon got trapped in her cans.” He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, bowled over by the fact that he didn’t know his sweet, older neighbor was your grandmother. Remembering the box, he offers it to you. “Here, this was supposed to be a welcome to the neighborhood gift.” He tells you. “Meant to come introduce myself when you moved in, but – life.” He shrugs as if it’s not a big deal, his stomach clenching at your mere presence. Especially since he remembered there being a teen’s stuff among the moving boxes. He wants to ask about your husband, but he’s afraid he will hate the man on principle alone.

“Raccoon in the trash cans. Got it.” You nod vaguely, not even sure if you want to accept the otherwise very neighborly gift of whatever is in that box marked with a bakery’s logo. Your head is spinning and your throat is dry and you can swear you hear Mallory downstairs calling for you. “That’s—” But can you even bring yourself to explain? “I gotta go,” you mumble instead. The box has somehow made it into your hands, and you feel like a retreating wild animal fleeing the scene. “Thanks for stopping by, I guess.”

“Bye.” Jack stares after you for a moment, bewildered by how quickly you had turned and fled. The immediate happiness of seeing you again turns to confusion and then sours in his stomach. Wondering if you were upset with a past lover being so close to your family. Jack sighs and shoves his hands in pockets, turning around and walking down the steps. Maybe it was going to be better to just be those neighbors that didn’t speak.

The panic attack that comes as soon as you shut the door is not small, and it’s not something you can hide from your daughter when she comes running up the stairs at the sound of her mother crying. “Mom?” She bends down, taking both of your shoulders in her hands and checking you over the same way you used to do with her when she was small. “Who was it? What happened?”

“I—it—” You hiccup back more tears, trying to calm yourself down. “It’s fine, Mal. I’m fine. I just had a tough day at work.”

“That’s bullshit.” Proclaims your headstrong teenager, who has hopped up and grabbed her baseball bat from the umbrella stand by the front door. “You were in an amazing mood five minutes ago.” She’s faster than you, obviously, and pulls the door open to find whoever it was that upset her mother. The only person she sees is the next-door neighbor opening his front door and she fumes. “Hey Asshole!” She screams out, raising the bat.

“Mallory, stop!” You’re too late by a mere hair – unable to pull her back inside before Jack has made eye contact with his daughter.

Jack freezes, his entire body locking up and he couldn’t move if he wanted to. If he had been in danger, he’d be dead. Not that there isn’t significant danger from the teenager, an enraged expression on her face as she charges towards him with a baseball bat. Jesus…she…she looks like him. Jack staggers back slightly at the dark eyes, furious with the same calculating expression he’s seen in his own mirror. But what gets him – the ears. Her ears are curled back on the edges.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Jack yelps, looking past her to where you are wide eyed with terror. “You had my kid?!”

It’s Mallory’s turn to freeze now – raised bat dropping to her side like cement as she looks at the man on his front step and then back at you. “Mom?” Her voice is small – almost scared – and you swear the last time she sounded so helpless, she was six years old.

“Everybody in the house.” You direct, in a voice that will not compromise. Waiting until Mallory has passed you and gone inside to look Jack square in the eyes. “I had my kid. You were nowhere to be found.”

Jack grinds his teeth, angry – furious that you had a fucking child and he didn’t know about it. “So that’s how it is?” He demands, the wounds that he had managed to start to close that month with you torn open, a bleeding mess on his heart. He has a child he never met – never knew existed – until she called him an asshole. “It wasn’t like you left a number for me to get up with you either.”

“At least you knew my last name.” You counter, clenching your jaw as he steps up to your front door for the second time. “I knew your first name, a dubious last name, and Kentucky. And it turns out that that not enough for a birth certificate.” All you can do in this moment is shake your head, the weight of fifteen years of missing him far outweighing any residual anger. It was a month, and you were only twenty-one. You had never considered that what you felt for him was real love, or that your life would be so completely changed. “Just…come inside and meet your daughter. Or don’t, if you don’t want to. But can we – please, I’m honestly asking – can we save being mad at each other for when she’s not around? She shouldn’t have to hear whatever you think of me.”

He stares at you for a moment and sighs, remembering that he ‘hadn’t’ given you his last name. Or – he had, but you had been convinced it was fake. And it wasn’t like Jack Daniels was a name people would honestly take seriously if inquiring about it. “I’m not mad.” Jack huffs and shakes his head. “Okay, I’m mad, but I’m more upset than anything.”

“You can be upset with me when she goes up to do her homework.” It’s the best you can offer, knowing that Mallory deserves honesty and truth as much as either you or Jack does. “I’ll take whatever you’ve got to throw at me. But…none of it is Mallory’s fault. She’s innocent.”

“Her name is Mallory?” He’s quiet, still trying to process all of this. He’s also a little hurt there’s you think he’s going to punish a child for something she had nothing to do with.

“Mallory Paige.” When you step back inside, the teenager in question is sitting on the bottom of the stairs that lead to the second floor with her cat in her arms and the bat nowhere to be found. “And her best friend there is Astro.”

Mallory is practically beside herself when you close the door, looking between you and Jack with so many questions that she doesn’t know where to start. Well – yes she does. Her mouth is just so dry that she can barely get the words out. “Is…is he…really my dad?”

“Yes, honey.” You sigh softly and nod your head, both hands shoving into your pants pockets nervously. “This is Jack.”

Jack stares at her for a long moment. So many things, different traits from you, from him, have made such a beautiful young woman. He wants to touch her, to make sure she’s real, but he’s a stranger to her. “Jack Daniels.” He tells her quietly. “You have my ears.” The twitch of his mustache is a small smile, pleased and nervous.

“And eyes. And smile.” Mallory nods, her voice as quiet as his is. “I mean…I think. At least…that’s what mom says…” She hasn’t really seen much of a smile from the man in the three minutes she’s known him, so she can’t tell.

“Yeah?” That does make Jack grin, rocking back on his heels and looking between you and Mallory. “I still say you look like your momma. Thank the good Lord. Least you don’t have my nose.”

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” The offer is an olive branch to Jack, since you were already planning on cooking and it’s that time of day. “Maybe we can all talk while I’m cooking?”

“Only if you are okay with it.” Jack looks back over at you again, aware that you are not happy with him and his reaction to the news. He wasn’t exactly proud of it, but he also knows you don’t know the full truth of why he was single when the two of you met.

You’re not entirely sure if you are okay, but being heartsick isn’t an excuse to deprive them of knowing each other now that they have a chance. You try for a smile instead, finding it’s waterier than you’re proud of, and you pick up the bakery box from the side table where you had managed to leave it before nearly collapsing in the entry way just a few minutes ago. “Mal got an A on her first Spanish quiz of the year and we finally finished unpacking. We’re celebrating with chicken parmesan.”

“Nice.” Jack nods in approval and looks over at Mallory. “You like chicken parm? It’s one of my favorites.” He doesn’t know what to do, or what to say so he nods towards the bakery box. “That place has the best cookies and Danishes around. I brought you quite a few of them.”

“Mom makes the best.” Mallory takes the box from your hands as the three of you troop down the stairs to the kitchen. “Chicken parm, I mean. Not cookies. Mom’s cookies are like rocks.”

“Hey!” You groan, huffing a little at being ratted out so early in this conversation. “They’re not always rocks.”

“Nah.” Mallory laughs and grins at the man who is apparently her father. Now that she’s had it pointed out, she can see her ears on him, and even her crooked smile. “Sometimes we just eat the dough so you can’t ruin them.”

“I have been known to eat cookie dough myself.” Jack chuckles. “I buy those Tollhouse logs and it’s me and a spoon when I’m feeling the sweet tooth.” He bites his lip. “When’s your birthday, kiddo?”

“March 30.” Mallory sets the bakery box down on the counter when she reaches the kitchen and goes to the refrigerator to retrieve the bottle of iced tea there along with three glasses. “I, uh…I know about Mexico,” she admits quietly, looking over at you. “Mom told me some stuff.”

“She asked me a few years ago why she didn’t have a dad.” It hadn’t been the first time she had asked, but it was the first time you felt that she was old enough to hear some of the truth. “So I told her about how we dated for a little while and then I couldn’t find you to tell you that I was pregnant.” You really and truly cannot busy yourself enough right now, and you are pulling out pans and groceries like a fiend. Anything to not look at him. “I tried for a long time.” And nearly gave a lot of different men named Jack Daniels heart attacks in the process – it had been shocking enough to find out that real men even had that name that it had given you hope, but you never found your Jack.

Dated for a little while. A very innocent term for the month-long torrid affair the two of you had. A month of exploring the locale and each other, you practically living in his cabana when you felt like a third wheel with your friends. “Sorry about that.” He winces and regrets his decision to never look you up. “It can be hard to find me, unless you know the right people.” The intelligence agency he worked for made sure of it.

“Great-gran’s probably laughing.” Mallory predicts, holding out a tall glass of peach iced tea to him. “She loved weird coincidences and Shakespearean stuff.”

“Hmmm.” He doesn’t know much about coincidences, but he has to meddling friend who seems to know everything. “She was a nice lady.”

“So, Jack.” As much as she wants to just dive in, Mallory has never called anyone ‘dad’ and never thought she would. “What do you do? Please tell me it’s cool. Mom’s job is so boring.”

Jack chuckles and shakes his head, knowing that he can’t divulge too much right now. “I work for Statesman. The whiskey company.” He gives her a small shrug. “Acting CEO.”

“You run a booze company?” The teen is clearly delighted, leaning over the kitchen counter where you’ve buried your face in your cooking. “Does that mean I can drink whiskey, Mom? Since it’s like…my birthright or whatever?”

You snort, shaking your head at her. “I’ll buy you the fanciest bottle they make in six and a half years, kiddo. It can be your first legal bottle.”

Jack snorts and doesn’t say a word when Mallory pouts. He’s not going to go against what you say. He’s not crazy.

“You can have one sip if there is ever an open bottle in the house.” Caving when all she does is pout isn’t a good habit, but you don’t like to make things forbidden to her. That makes them mysterious and desirable, and she’s more likely to go behind your back to get it or end up overdoing it. “But that’s it. And we’re not buying a bottle just so you can try it.”

“Yesssss.” Mallory does a small celebration dance before trying to collect herself and look well behaved. “I just want to know,” she explains, eyes gliding back to Jack in embarrassment. “I don’t…know that much about you…”

“Ask me anything you want.” Some things couldn’t be mentioned of course, but as soon as Jack leaves your house tonight, he will be on the phone to Champ. “I’ll answer as honestly as I can.” He wants to offer to help, he’s pretty handy in a kitchen, but you seem to be trying to avoid looking at him. Busying yourself with everything and he doesn’t want to make things even more difficult.

“Do you have another family?” Mallory’s face is screwed up into an expression of determination, meant to mask the fact that what she’s asking is actually her biggest fear. The one that cruel kids taunted and tormented her with mercilessly and has made her glad to leave previous towns she had once loved or considered home. “Is that why you left Mom?”

“Mal!” There is no amount of squeezing your eyes shut or deep breathing that can undo the fact that your daughter just asked that question, and you set down the block of parmesan you were grating carefully. “Just because he said you can ask questions doesn’t mean you can be rude.”

“It’s okay.” Jack assures you, giving Mallory a bittersweet smile. “I don’t have another family.” He admits softly, licking his lips before he decides to explain. “When I met your mom, I had lost my wife and unborn son two years earlier.”

“Oh…” You can feel your shoulders round, stomach flopping and face drawn in sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Jack.” You didn’t know. How could you? The two of you had done nothing but live in moments of passion and pleasure the entire time you were together. The insulated bubble of your fantasy affair had had no room for reality.

“You didn’t know.” He jerks his shoulder up, one careless shrug although his entire stance is anything but careless. “It wasn’t something I was…able to talk about.” He admits. Hell, it was hard to talk about it now, but that was after a lot of therapy. He looks back over at Mallory. “So no, there’s no secret family.”

“So then why did you leave?” She asks, her voice quiet and tinged with embarrassment. “Why didn’t you want to see Mom anymore?” The whole ships passing in the night explanation seemed like a bullshit adult excuse to her, but she had never thought that she would have an opportunity to actually ask him.

Jack sighs, leaning against the counter and looking at the daughter he should have known about. “Because I was afraid.” It shocks him when the truth comes out if his mouth. “I— when my wife died – it nearly killed me.” He looks down at his boot, scuffing it on the tile floor. “Your mom, I knew that she was special, but I was terrified that I would lose her somehow.” He chokes out a harsh laugh. “Hard to lose someone when you don’t have them, right?”

“I guess.” It’s hard for her to grasp, but she nods slowly before looking down at Astro between her feet and frowns. “I’m gonna feed the cat.” She announces without segue. “Don’t say anything important until I get back.” She’s gone in a flash, with Astro yowling at her heels as he chases her up to the main floor where his bowls and food are. The air in the room seems to get sucked out after her, though, and your shoulders sag at the counter while you try to figure out what the hell to even say.

“I’m sorry.” Jack props his elbows on the counter and leans over it, closing his eyes with a huge sigh of regret. “I didn’t— I wasn’t trying to attack you.” He mumbles. “I just honestly never thought I would have a kid after… and then I find out…” He breaks off the comment with a choked sound.

“I’m sorry. I tried for so long and then it seemed like you just didn’t want to be found which is so stupid and I just—” With both of you speaking at once it’s sort of a jumble of apologies, but you shake your head fiercely and wipe your hands on the nearest kitchen towel. “All she’s ever wanted is to know you. You don’t have to be any more involved than you want to be and I’m not going to ask you for money or anything, but…” You shrug your shoulders and lean across the counter so that you’re shoulder to shoulder. “It would be nice if you wanted to come around sometimes. Get to know her a little?”

“I—” Jack turns towards you, his eyes swimming with emotion. “We have a daughter.” He breathes out in awe.

“My birth control wasn’t quite as strong as we thought,” you joke, even though the water in his eyes is bringing tears to your own that make your throat stick and your shoulders feel heavy.

“Darlin’ if I had known….” His eyes close and he sighs, hanging his head. “I didn’t want to find out what you were doing.” He admits softly. “I didn’t want to see you married to some asshole with two point five perfect kids and a dog, so I never looked.”

“Just one perfect kid.” That feeling of being drawn closer to him is so familiar that you could swear it was just yesterday that you were lying in his arms on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. “And the cat. But he can be a jerk if he doesn’t get his breakfast on time.”

“Was it…hard?” He can’t imagine having to raise a child on his own. “Doing it alone? Did you have family to help you?”

“It wasn’t easy.” This close to him, it’s hard not to want to reach out and touch him. You haven’t allowed yourself to, not wanting to know if that magnetism that had existed fifteen years ago is still there. “But my family helped where they could. We lived with my parents for a long time before heading out on our own when Mal was about eight. At that point I could afford to support us on my own.” You sigh softly, watching your hand inch closer to him of its own accord. “Sometimes I wonder if anything I do is remotely right at all, but she’s turning out amazing all on her own.”

“She was going to take on a full-grown man with a baseball bat.” He chuckles before he cocks his head. “What was that about?”

“I—” If it’s possible, you deflate a little further. “She heard me crying after I shut the door,” you admit, staring down at your hands. “And she’s never taken it lightly when I get upset. I guess…” The thought would make you laugh if you weren’t nearly in tears again, and the sound you make is more like a hiccup. “I guess she’s a hell of a lot more protective than I thought. Just be glad she didn’t swing. The kid has a hell of an arm on her.”

Jack snorts and feels pride swelling in his chest at the notion that his daughter would ferociously protect her mother from anyone. “She wouldn’t have hurt me.” He promises, edging closer to you and unable to deny that he wants to touch you, pull you in and inhale you. To see if that scent that was always underlying any perfume – your scent – was still the same.

“She would have tried.” When he shifts closer, the tips of your fingers brush his arm, and you inhale sharply. Apparently, that spark hasn’t faded over time. At least not for you. And you’re not sure if that’s what you were hoping for or dreading. After all, the idea that he might still want you fifteen years later is…well, it’s wishful thinking.

“Good.” The air has shift. Thickened. If it weren’t for the fact that this is not a mission and you are not a target, he would think that someone is about to attack. Maybe they are. “Fuck.” He whispers, looking into your eyes. “I should have stayed.” He murmurs. “I shoulda told Champ to send someone else.”

“Champ?” You feel like you can barely move, fingertips touching his skin and breath mingling between you like no time has passed at all.

“My boss.” Jack straightens up, bringing you with him. “Darlin’, tell me I’m crazy.” He begs softly. “Tell me to step away, or I’m gonna kiss you.”

“I’ve never been known for my good sense when it comes to you.” The two of you are so wrapped up in your own little world as you round the edge of the counter to be closer to him, that you don’t even hear the soft creak of the stairs as Mallory stops in her tracks to give you privacy. “I just…I don’t…” Don’t isn’t very convincing when you’re practically gliding into his arms, and you force yourself to stop – closing your eyes briefly and breathing slowly before you open your eyes again to find his gaze still locked on you. “Don’t do it unless you mean it,” you ask, barely hearing your own voice. “Letting go of you once was hard enough.”

Jack sighs, heavy and deep for the pit of his soul. “I’ve always thought of you.” He confesses softly. “You – being out there, kept me sane sometimes. Thinking about that month, wondering what you had become.” He leans in and nudges his nose against yours. “You seeing anyone, darlin’?”

“No.” You haven’t for years, essentially giving up on dating when no one could ever come close to making you feel the way that Jack did. The way he still does, apparently, with your arms sliding easily around his waist. “No one ever…I-I couldn’t stop comparing them to you…which felt pretty silly until about ten seconds ago.”

“That’s good.” There’s a cockiness to his smirk as he leans in again. “Because you were always the bar no one could reach.”

If being able to touch him again took your breath away, then it’s surely a natural progression that kissing him for the first time in fifteen years makes your heart stop. That part of you that never stopped being in love with him is soaring right now as you curl your fingers into his shirt and hold his softer form flush against you. You’re both older, softer, changed in both large and small ways – but Jack tastes exactly the same as he did so many years ago. He still overwhelms and fills your senses in exactly the same way, and the reassurance that you haven’t been glorifying his memory for fifteen years is enough to have you eagerly seeking to deepen the kiss.

Kissing you was always natural. From the first time on that little dance floor, crowded and sweaty, to right now. He’s been no saint since the two of you parted ways, but there have only been two women that fit into his arms like they were made for him. Now one of them is right here. Jack groans and eagerly slides his tongue into your mouth as you open for him.

You moan softly, pouring the sound into his mouth as the two of you relearn the contours of each other’s mouths and grip the curves of each other’s bodies, lost in the moment in the middle of your kitchen. Years ago, a kiss like this would have had your back up against a wall or tree or door and your dress pulled up to your waist so Jack could push inside you as slowly or as frantically as he pleased – but it builds more slowly tonight. Reminding yourselves of exactly how good things can be.

Maybe its age that’s slowing him down, or maybe it’s that he doesn’t want this to end, but Jack doesn’t rush. Which is a good thing when he sees movement out of the corner of his vision and he pulls away hastily, remembering you do have a teenage daughter in the house.

“I…um…” With your entire face on fire and your body lit up with that desperate, aching need for pleasure for the first time in years, you’re relieved to only see Astro when you turn your head. But a creak on the stairs makes you nearly laugh; you bury your face in your hands for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Mal? You can come out of hiding.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt.” Mallory is chewing on her bottom lip when she emerges, hands stuffed into her pockets and looking sheepish. “It sounded like you guys were talking about something important…” For her entire life she’s dreamed about her dad reappearing and her parents getting back together – wanting that idyllic life of domestic harmony like other kids had and so her mom could be happy. And it sounds like she might actually get it. Or at least she’s a huge step closer than she was even an hour ago.

“Sorry, kiddo.” Jack has the decency to flush at his daughter having to deal with him kissing her mom the first time he meets her. “I didn’t mean to rush that.”

“Does…” Mallory looks between you with poorly disguised hope in her eyes, settling the question on Jack when she recognizes the look on your face as uncertainty. “Does this mean you’re getting back together?”

“I—” Jack looks back at you and then to Mallory again. “That is up to your mom.” He hums softly. “It’s been a long time since she’s had to put up with me.” Flashing a grin at the joke to dispel the tension. You might not want something with him. “She might not want ‘ole Jack.”

“Yes, she does,” Mallory insists quickly. “She—”

“Mal.” You have a feeling that if you don’t stop her, a whole lot of teenage observations will come spilling out of her mouth and you’re not sure how ready you are for any of those truths to be spoken. “Your dad and I have a lot to talk about. How about for now we just set the table and I’ll finish making dinner?” A glance at Jack gets you a nod, and you squeeze his hand gently in your own before letting go. There is a lot to talk about, but having him back beside you has always been your ultimate fantasy.

Instead of haunting you, he helps Mallory. Letting her order him around as the two of them get the table ready to eat. It’s homey and comforting, something he’s not imagined for himself in forever. Learning that his daughter has his observation skills is amusing, along with your artistic side. The flowers that had been on the entry way table magically appearing on the table in a recreated centerpiece. “So, what other questions do you have for me?” He asks her, knowing she wants to know more. He’s already soaking up information about the first fourteen years that’s he’s missed.

“I looked you up when I was feeding Astro.” She admits, holding up her cell phone as she connects her Spotify to the Bluetooth speakers she got for her last birthday to play some music during dinner. “All I could find was your company bio. Born and raised in Kentucky, worked for the company for twenty years, blah blah blah, all that kind of stuff.” Mallory tilts her head at him as she turns on a Florence and the Machine playlist – her favourite that you also love – and shrugs. “What do you do for fun?”

Jack hums, knowing that his main ‘hobby’ is work. “Rope work.” He decides that’s safe enough. “Plus a little sport shooting. I am handy with a whip, a lasso and six shooters.”

Mallory’s nose wrinkles slightly, confusion evident on her face, and she squints at him like she’s inspecting him for a lie. “Didn’t cowboys die out like a hundred years ago?”

Jack chuckles and shakes his head. “Naw, they’re still out there. Just have to know where to look.”

“It was always kind of your dad’s thing.” And despite the distractingly neat button-down shirt and typically tight jeans he’s wearing, you had noticed that he still wears cowboy boots regardless of living in New York City. “He was the only one walking the beach in boots instead of sandals.”

Jack grins at the way Mallory wrinkles her nose and reaches out to tweak it. “Soft soles.” He huffs. “Sand burned my feet.”

You soundly resist the joke about how that was the only soft part of him back then, and instead hand Jack a bowl brimming with spaghetti in garlicky tomato sauce to put on the table while you bring over the platter of chicken. “How long have you been in New York?”

“Six years.” Jack brings over the bowl and sets it down. “Champ wanted me running the New York office. Knowing I liked to play the stock games.”

“Everybody dig in.” Seeing him sitting at your dinner table like he’s always meant to be there is disorienting in the best kind of way. Like you’ve imagined him and wished him into being there for so long that it finally worked. The whole thing will be enough to make you break right down and cry tonight, but for now you’re going to savor it, and hold on to that fresh feeling of his lips against yours for as long as you can.

It’s quiet for a moment while everyone fills up their plates. Jack keeps looking between you and Mallory, wondering what it would have been like if he had kept in touch, if he had known about her. “We should do something.” He decides. “Some kind of family outing?”

“Can we?” The suggestion energizes your daughter, making her sit up straight in her seat enthusiastically as she digs into her dinner. “There’s a bunch of touristy stuff we want to do since we just got here. Yankees game, Broadway, the Met, Times Square, all the super touristy stuff.”

“Whatever you want to do.” Jack nods. “As long as your mother is okay with me playing your guide.”

“I think there’s something you should do first, though.” Mallory tells him honestly. “You and Mom should go out. Even if it’s not like…a date date. You should spend time together.”

He stares at his daughter for a moment before he chuckles and shakes his head before he looks at you. “I think she’s trying to orchestrate something, but she’s probably right.”

“I shouldn’t have let her watch Parent Trap so many times,” you huff, raising an eyebrow at Mallory as she gives you her best innocent face. “It wouldn’t kill us to have dinner.” There are certainly plenty of things to discuss that aren’t for your fourteen-year-old’s ears, especially after that kiss. “It doesn’t—don’t feel like it has to be a date. We should just take some time to catch up.” The last thing you want him to feel is pressured, no matter how much you were ready to drag him upstairs not too long ago.

“No.” Jack braces his elbows on the edge of the table, that kiss making him confident that you are still feeling the same way you did all those years ago. “I owe you fifteen years of Mother’s Day celebrations. And I want to see if we are still compatible.”

Mallory looks positively triumphant with her mouth full of pasta, and you look at Jack for a long moment before nodding. “Okay.” It’s not exactly hard to agree to, since that kiss screamed compatibility. “Mal’s old enough to stay home alone, so…yeah. I’d like that. Just – let me know when and where.”

“You could always go out tonight!” Mallory chirps. “After dinner. It’s early and this is New York.” Jack bites his lip to keep from laughing at the face of unbridled enthusiasm.

“Your dad might have other plans, honey.” After all, who knows what kind of life he’s leading these days. He had asked you if you were seeing anyone, but you hadn’t had the presence of mind to ask the same.

“I don’t.” Jack supplies quickly. “But your mom may not want to do anything tonight.” He offers, giving you an out of you want it. “It’s been a shocking day.”

“What the hell.” You laugh, shrugging at the absurdity of the entire day on whole. An extremely eventful Thursday if there ever was one. “Why not? The house will be nice and quiet while Mal does her homework.”

He hadn’t expected you to say yes, but he flashes you a grin and nods. “Well, okay darlin’. How’s a stroll through Central Park sound?” He asks. “They have a lot of musicians out in the evenings.”

“Sounds good.” Nothing formal, nothing fussy, and nothing that will be too upsetting to Mal if it doesn’t go well. That seems okay to you.

******

Jack insists on cleaning up the dishes, shooing you away to go get ready and claiming that Mallory can help him if he needs guidance on where to put things. “You know,” he keeps his eyes on the pan he is scrubbing. “You momma may not want to pursue anything with me.” He tells her. “But that don’t mean that you and I aren’t going to get to know one another.” He just doesn’t want her to push for the two of you because she wants to keep him in her life. That was guaranteed the moment he learned about her. Living next door just makes it even easier.

“She misses you.” Mallory dries the glasses and flatware carefully to put away, watching her father as he works. “I know that having me isn’t a guarantee that you’ll get married and live happily ever after. I get that.” She shrugs a little, leaning on the counter and looking up at him. “But she never asks for anything for herself, and I know she wouldn’t ask you for anything either. So…whatever happens is whatever happens. I just don’t want her to regret shit anymore.”

“Damn.” Jack shoots her a grin and looks back down at his pan. “Seems like you inherited my spirit.” He tells her. “Brash, fearsome and reason to fight when it’s something you believe in or want to protect.”

“Mom says we’re a lot alike.” She puts the clean glasses in the cupboard and offers him a small, devious grin. “At least, that’s what she said when I frustrate her by talking my way out of trouble.”

His laugh is full, from the belly and he practically crows at how pleased with herself she looks. “I could always get her madder than a hen having her eggs stolen and then soothe her ruffled feathers.”

“I don’t—” Mallory chews her lip, plopping down on the stool on the other side of the counter to look at him. There are only a few old Polaroids in a shoebox in her mom’s room that she had ever seen him in, and he looks pretty much the same. Just older and all the things that go with age. “I don’t think she ever stopped loving you,” she murmurs, eyes shifting away to look at her own hands the same way you do when you’re nervous or upset. “I mean she’s never said it or anything, but I don’t know why else she would’ve avoided dating like she did.”

Oh. Jack’s shoulders slump and he looks at the daughter the two of you created from a vacation fling. “I—I promise I won’t hurt her.” He vows softly, knowing that she cares about your happiness.

“Okay.” Mallory nods, having said all she has to say for the moment until she remembers one more thing while putting the flatware back in its drawer. “Did you…” she looks back at him apprehensively. “Ever love her?”

“I did.” He murmurs softly. “It’s why I couldn’t be with her. At least why I thought I couldn’t.” His grief over his wife had twisted him and warped his thoughts on love for awhile. “There have been two women I’ve loved, and your mother is one of them.”

******

It took you a solid twenty minutes of staring in your bedroom mirror panicking over not having anything nice enough to wear out on a maybe-but-maybe-not date with the man who fathered your child. You manage to calm yourself down enough to transfer your energy to a pep talk – reminding yourself that you’re just going for a walk and the whole point of this is just to casually spend time together so just put on some damn jeans and a clean blouse and fucking breathe. Is this the first night you’ve refreshed your makeup after work instead of wiping it off in exhaustion? Yes. But you’ll be damned if you don’t go on this totally casually absolutely not-a-big-deal walk and not look nice for the man you – begrudgingly admit to yourself – have been in love with for fifteen years. You just can’t let yourself get your hopes up. Even as good as that kiss was.

Heading back downstairs, you check yourself in the hallway mirror one more time and stop to give Astro a snuggle when you grab your favourite cardigan off the coat hook by the front door. “Knock knock.” Deciding to announce yourself when you get to the bottom of the stairs in case Mallory and Jack are talking about something one of them might consider personal, you pause in the kitchen doorway before turning the corner. “How’s clean up coming?”

Jack is wiping his hands on the dish rag as he turns around. “Done.” He manages before he purses his lips together and lets out a low whistle. “Darlin’, maybe I need to go freshen up to be worthy of walking you around.” He praises as he sets down the towel and takes a step towards you.

“It’s just jeans and a clean shirt, Jack.” Still, that doesn’t stop the warmth from rising in your cheeks, pleased at the praise without letting yourself visibly preen. Not in front of Mal.

He grins, rocking closer and catching a subtle whiff of perfume. “Everything looks good on you, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes at him like you don’t distinctly remember that he used to end that phrase with things like ’especially me’ or ’even nothing’, or look smug about it after painting your skin with his cum. “I remember.”

“You kids have fun, now.” Mallory grins, echoing what you always say to her when you would drop her off at a friend’s house. “Doors will stay locked, no tv until my homework is done, lights out by 11:30, I know the drill.” She practically shoves the two of you toward the kitchen door looking as pleased with herself as humanly possible. “You two stay out as looooong as you want.”

“Why do I have a feeling your daughter wants you on this date more than you want to be on it?” Jack asks as the two of you find yourselves on the stoop.

“That’s not true.” Outside, out of view of your daughter, you feel like you can breathe a little more easily. If only because the baggage you carry is full of things that you try never to shoulder her with. “I’m just…I’ve had a lot of dreams that start with you walking back into our lives and I don’t want to pressure you into anything. That’s all.” Taking a deep breath, you nudge him slightly as you head for the few stairs that will bring you to the sidewalk. “I know she has her hopes up. But you’ve had a lot dropped on you today even before our teenage daughter decided to play matchmaker.” Holding your hand out to him as though it’s proof that you want to be there, you offer him a smile. “For me? I just can’t believe you’re actually here.”

Jack takes your hand, feeling the weight of your fingers resting against his and the warmth of your skin. “I regretted it.” He admits quietly. “Not getting your information, or leaving you a way to get ahold of me if you wanted.” He shakes his head. “I know I didn’t tell you about my wife, I couldn’t.”

“I feel like I should have worked harder to find you, but I tried everything I could think of.” The two of you start down the street together, easily finding that stride together like it hasn’t been more than a decade since you walked hand in hand. “Things would have been so different.”

Jack grunts, fully aware that without a Top Secret clearance, you wouldn’t have been able to find him. “Darlin’, there’s a reason why you weren’t able to find me.” He ventures, squeezing your hand. He knows Champ might be sore at him, but you are the mother of his child. His family legacy. You would find out when he dies, and family who are together get to know.

“What do you mean?” There aren’t many people out right now, or at least a lot fewer than you would have expected for the time of night, and you and Jack stride slowly down the block together even with confusion written on your face.

“Statesman isn’t just a whiskey company, darlin’.” Jack explains. “Beyond the bourbon, we’re an independent intelligence agency.” He looks over to see you frowning even harder in confusion. “I’m a spy, sweetheart.”

Stopping dead in your tracks, it takes every ounce of restraint you have not to just wrench your hand out of his and do something rash like scream. “Jack, if you don’t want to be in our lives, just say so,” you tell him, carefully removing your fingers from their place threaded through his. It feels like you’ve swallowed concrete, the sinking disappointment in your belly pulling you away from him a little more every second. “You don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not lying.” Jack huffs, reaching for you but dropping his hand when you jerk out if his reach. “I’m – hand to God, I am an intelligence officer. Was one when we met.”

“Spies don’t work for distilleries; they work for the government and you are the least likely military man I’ve ever met in my life.” The boiling frustration pouring off of you pushes tears to the surface as you wrap your arms around yourself and shake your head emphatically. “How in the hell am I supposed to believe you, Jack?” It’s like a comic book, too far beyond belief to even entertain. “Is Jack even your name? Or was I right that Jack Daniels was an alias the whole time?” It’s a silly name and you’ve always thought so. Thought he was hiding something. But you went and fell in love with him anyway like a fool.

His lips push into a frown, and he shakes his head. “Come on.” He turns around and starts walking back the same direction you just traveled from. “I’ll prove it since you can’t take my word for it.” He tells himself as he walks with large, determined strides that anyone would have that reaction. Although he had hoped you would ask questions rather than just disbelieve him.

“I guess I’m following you.” Muttering to yourself as you watch him start to walk away, you’re torn between the absolute heartbreak of finally thinking that he truly wants nothing to do with you and being concerned that he might not be well. The percentage possibility that he’s telling the truth is so slim that you immediately push it from your mind. Despite clearly not believing him, you hustle behind the man you were supposed to be taking a nice stroll with until he’s climbing the stairs to his own brownstone right next to yours.

From the outside, Jack’s brownstone looks normal. He opens the outer door and moves over to the wall next to the door. Turning around and making sure you are paying attention before he leans down to peer into the small round orb that looks like a digital thermostat on the wall. Initiating the retinal scan.

“The hell…?” Sheer curiosity has you stepping closer, looking at the panel that he’s staring into but looks like something out of a James Bond movie.

The interior door to the house clicks open and Jack shoves it open so you can walk in. “It’s in my library.” He tells you, leading the way through the wax rubbed paneled hallway and through the original pocket doors into the cozy room.

His house is built exactly the same way as yours, the whole block having been built at the same time well over a hundred years ago, but his library is much grander. Yours is low key at the moment, and is mostly a place for you to read or Mallory to play her guitar. “What is?” You ask, not seeing anything suspicious or out of place in the comfortable space.

When he had moved into the brownstone, he had told the techs that he wanted all the Statesman upgrades to blend into the natural feel of the house. Beyond the retinal scanner, they had done a damn good job. Jack walks over to a bookshelf and presses a button that is hidden in the ornate carving.

A whole panel of the wall starts to move, sinking inward slightly before shifting and sliding to the left so that part of his bookcase gives way to a… “Do you seriously have a wall of weapons?” There are guns of various calibers hanging alongside what looks to be a lasso and a whip like he mentioned earlier. Jesus Christ, you had always just thought he was really into growing up on a ranch…

Jack picks up what looks like just a whip handle, short and practically useless to the common person. “Back up.” He warns you, pressing the well-worn button on the handle as the electrified whip extends and flickers to life, deadly and beautiful.

“The hell?” Stepping back wasn’t quite enough, and you stumble backward a large step more before you steady yourself on a nearby chair. “Is that…electric?” You ask, eyes wide with awe and somehow more confusion.

Jack keeps his eyes on his weapon, knowing it can slice anything in half and he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you. The vase, however, he never really liked it. He swings the whip over his head and flicks his wrist, sending the electrified cord out to wrap around the neck of the vase and flowers, neatly slicing them off and letting them topple to the floor. Straightening up when he’s done, he presses the button again and the whip retracts. “It is.” He finally answers, turning back to you.

“Jesus!” Instinctively jumping backward to be even further away from the weapon, you can feel all the blood drain from your face and your jaw drops open in shock. “What—how did—I don’t—” A coherent thought doesn’t seem to be able to form for an exhaustive amount of time and you stand there, dumbfounded, for longer than you’re proud of. “You’re—you’re serious, aren’t you?”

Jack sets the whip down and nods, aware that there is probably a good chance that you will flee. Perhaps keep him away from Mallory. “I wasn’t lying to you, darlin’. I’ve never lied to you. Maybe kept things to myself – like why I was in Mexico – but I never lied.”

“Wh—why were you in Mexico?” It’s overwhelming, and confusing, but your gut is somehow sure that he’s telling you the truth – which might only be adding to the feeling of confusion, you can’t tell yet. “You just said you were on vacation…?”

“I was in a sense.” Jack nods, relaxing slightly now that you are asking questions. The reluctant belief in your eyes making him shuffle slightly closer to you. “I had just finished my first mission. Those bruises you saw weren’t from a bar fight in Jamaica – well, not just a bar fight.” He admits. “I was in Mexico to recuperate and lay low. And celebrate mission success.”

“So you—” Shaking your head only seems to rattle your thoughts more, and you look between him and the secret wall panel of weapons (is that really just a thought you just had?) apprehensively. “You’re like…James Bond with a Stetson?” The phrase is so ridiculous that it almost makes you laugh, but all that comes out is a breathy huff. “Just…going around the world on secret spy missions and sleeping with random women and pretending to sell whiskey?”

“No, I do sell whiskey.” Jack flashes you a grin and lifts his hand to rub through his hatless hair. “Have you seen our stock? As the senior agent, I’m not seducing as much as I might have when I was younger. And I go out on missions only when the young bucks can’t get it done alone.”

You have far, far too many questions all swimming around in your head right now, but the way he’s looking at you is so earnest that you swallow – hard – and look back over at him. “So, what…I couldn’t find you because Jack Daniels is your code name or something?”

“No.” Jack shakes his head and grins at you. “Jack Daniels really is my name.” He tells you. “It’s more that Ginger keeps records of me classified.” He chuckles. “My code name is Whiskey.”

“Of course it is.” With both of your hands waving in the air, you flop backward into the chair you were just leaning on. “I—this is…it’s kind of insane,” you admit, trying to wrap your head around the completely far-fetched idea.

“I’ll admit that.” Jack places the whip back into the panel and slides it closed. “But that’s why you couldn’t find me.” He murmurs softly. “If you decide you don’t want to have anything to do with it, that’s fine.” He would be heartbroken, but that’s not a new sensation.

“If all this were true—” The hurt look on his face makes you pause, and you pinch the bridge of your nose tightly between two fingers. “Let’s say this is all true,” you rephrase. “Wouldn’t you get in a ton of trouble for telling me?”

“Maybe.” Jack can still see that you don’t want to believe him. “Let’s find out.” He opens up a drawer in his desk and tosses you a pair of reading glasses, keeping one for himself. “Put those on, darlin’.”

Sure. A pair of glasses will tell him if he’s in trouble with his super spy bosses. Makes sense. You’re just about willing to admit that your weary heart can’t take a bunch of elaborate lies, but that insistent nagging in your gut tells you to put the damn glasses on and just find out. The image in them is almost instant, as he puts his own pair on and taps the tip of the frames like he’s pushing an On button or something.

“Jack! Burnin’ that midnight oil there?” An older man, broad like Jack but with perhaps ten or fifteen years on him and possessed of a thicker accent, appears in front of your eyes with a cigar in his mouth and a surprised smile on his face that quickly drops into concern. “Jack…” He clears his throat purposefully. “Now, I don’t mind there bein’ a beautiful woman in my office, but I prefer it when they’re by my own invitation.”

“Sorry Champ.” Jack motions towards you and introduces you. “There’s been a development here in New York.”

“Oh?” Champ raises a brow and sets down the cigar, then turns to reach for a bottle of Statesman Reserve. “What seems to be the problem? Nothings coming from the White House.”

Jack shakes his head. “No. This is more of a personal thing.” He explains. “Aww hell, there’s no good way to explain this, Champ. This lady is the mother of my fourteen-year-old daughter that I just learned about.”

Champ pauses, the bottle in his hand poised to pour, and he carefully sets it back down on the desk in front of him. “Ma’am,” he nods to you before looking back at Jack with a sigh. “When I told you to take a little R&R after the Jamaica job, this ain’t really what I meant, son.”

“I know.” Jack barely manages to keep from rolling his eyes, but he does huff. “However, now that I am aware of this, we need to initiate ‘Family Protocol’ for them.” He reminds his boss.

“Ginger’s already got everything set up, she’s just waiting on my go ahead.” Champ admits, leaning forward at his desk. “Ma’am, I understand this must come as a bit of a shock to you, but rest assured you’re in good hands, alright? Ol’ Jack’s the best in the business and we’ll take good care of you.”

“Uh…” The best you can do is nod, bewildered, and reach for Jack’s hand to cling to. As insane as this is, he’s still your port in the storm. “I—okay.”

“Wait…” Jack’s nostrils flair. “How does Ginger already have everything set up?” He demands, fully aware that those kinds of things take time.

“About a week ago, your DNA got pinged in our system—”

“The ancestry kits.” You interrupt, now wide eyed over something completely different. “A couple of weeks ago Mal and I each did one of those ancestry kits where you spit in a tube and the company analyzes your DNA…she hated not being able to fill out those school projects they have the kids do about family history and I—I thought—it could help us find out about where your family came from.”

“And you didn’t think it would be a good idea to let me know?” Jack asks, incredulous that Champ and Ginger would keep this from him.

“I was havin’ Ginger put together a file for you.” Champ admits, picking up the bottle again to pour himself a drink. “Same as we have done for any other agent.” It had happened a few times over the years, but never like this. The existence of those dang DNA tests was turning out to be interesting for the intelligence community. “But that file can be sealed now, since y’all found each other.” His eyes trace between you and Jack for a moment as he takes a sip of his drink. “Why don’t you bring your lady friend and your daughter down to Kentucky on the jet this weekend and we’ll get them squared away. Some of the New York techs can update their home security while you’re here.”

He’s still slightly upset, knowing that Champ knew first-hand about Jack’s past and how it shaped him. Although he can’t be too upset about him withholding information until it was deemed safe. It was the nature of the game he played. Turning to you, he wants to know what you think. “Darlin’?” He asks softly. “It’s your decision.”

“What are ’Family Protocols’?” It was the phrase that Jack had used, but you have no idea what it means and frankly it sounds more threatening than protective to your ears. “And why do we need to update our security? We’re not in danger…are we?”

“No.” Jack shakes his head. “No more than the average person. It’s why Statesman keeps our identities locked down so tight. Even the president doesn’t know who we are.” He doesn’t want to scare you, but he wants you to know the truth. “However, we take our families very seriously, so you are protected as if you were. Kind of like being the First Family, without the Secret Service taking you shopping.”

“This is…” You can’t help but shake your head, brows knitted together as you try to absorb the inherent truth of the situation. Jack didn’t make himself invisible to you for fifteen years – he was that way to everyone. He had kept his life to himself years ago to protect you. To keep you safe from his big, wild world of spies and secrets. “This is a lot,” you murmur finally, squeezing his hand tightly. “But it would be…it would be stupid not to do it, right? Like if someone did figure out Mallory was your daughter and something did happen, then she could be protected?”

“Listen, even if you want nothing to do with this, Mallory will be protected.” He promises fervently. He won’t let his second child down like he did his first. He knows rationally that he couldn’t have prevented the events that took them from him, but he can’t help but wonder if being an agent at the time wouldn’t have helped. “I promise you, Statesman won’t let anything happen to her. Even if you aren’t aware we are around.”

“At the risk of being…sentimental in front of your boss?” Nodding in the older man’s direction, you never talk or your eyes off Jack. “I spent fifteen years with you on my mind every single day, Jack Daniels. I’m not bowing out just because things get weird.” The conversation about what the two of you are to each other still needs to happen, but it’s suddenly feeling even more important than it did when you were only talking about your daughter’s happiness and not her safety.

“This sounds like a mighty fine time for me to say Goodnight.” Champ interjects with a clearing of his throat. “Jack, you tell Ginger when you’re coming, and I’ll have the ranch house made up.” He looks towards you with a polite nod. “Ma’am.” He taps his glasses and his image disappears.

“So…” Flustered and still a little overwhelmed, you take your glasses off and carefully hand them back to Jack. “Your boss seems…nice? Polite, at least.”

“He’s a good man.” Jack admits. “He’s the one that recruited me to Statesman.”

“Our walk got derailed.” You blow out a breath, knowing that that is your fault. “But I think…I think this is more important.”

“I understand that it’s a lot, sweetheart.” Jack acknowledges, moving over to you and rubbing your shoulders soothingly. “We can take the walk now, or we can have a drink and talk.”

“I think it’s only fair that I try that whiskey you sell.” Reaching up for him, your thumb smoothes over his stubbled cheek like you’re trying to reassure him and not yourself. “Central Park will be there the next time we want to take a walk. We should talk about things. I mean…you just found out you have a daughter and I just found you, so…there’s a lot to unpack.”

“Yes it is.” Making his way over to the bar cart gives him something to do. Keeps him from grabbing you and kissing you again. Talking needs to happen. “You really have thought about me since then?” He asks, picking up a bottle of Reserve.

The urge to chuckle is one you can stifle, and you walk across the room to the sofa beside his elaborate bar. “Of course I have.” You tell him honestly. “You—you changed my life, Jack. Even if you hadn’t given me Mallory, you still would have changed everything for me.”

“Cursing me for leaving you alone isn’t the same as wanting me there.” He smirks as he pours you both a double and brings the glasses and the bottle over to the couch.

“There was more wanting than cursing.” The glass he hands you is heavy, the liquor inside a rich and syrupy deep brown. “Although I probably would have said some pretty unkind things to you during the actual labor so maybe it’s better that you missed that part.”

Jack chuckles and sits down beside you. “Every woman has the right to curse the person who did that to her as much as she wants.” He reasons before he holds his glass out to you. “To being neighbors.”

“Neighbors.” The glasses make a pretty clinking sound and the warm, smoky sweet burn of your first sip of Statesman makes you hum pleasantly. “I have all kinds of photo albums and home videos. You can took a look whenever you want.”

“I will.” Jack wants that more than anything. “I want to see whatever you’ve got. I’ve always wanted kids…before.” He admits quietly. “Wanted five or six of them.”

“I always thought I’d have two or three.” Though obviously neither of you had ever anticipated having them together. “Mal used to ask me for a little sister for Christmas every year…” You shrug a little, staring into your glass. “You don’t have to tell me what happened to your wife, but I—if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

“No.” Jack sighs softly. “You deserve to hear about it. Despite what you think, I was in the military.” He tells you. “My wife, she was eight months pregnant with our baby boy and she went to the convenience store to get me another pack of cigarettes. I was about to go out into the field for the weekend and wanted to make sure I had enough.” Bitter guilt rises in the back of his throat thinking about how he was packing for a fucking field op while his wife and child lay dying. “She— two fucking meth head out freaks came in to rob the place.” His voice wavers and he coughs. “She was caught up in the crossfire.”

“Oh, Jack…” You set your glass down on the nearest table and reach for him instead. “I’m so sorry.” Losing him to the wild and unknown world was hard enough. You can’t even imagine the heartbreak of knowing there was no chance you could ever have him back again. “And I…I didn’t mean to offend you. I just meant – the only military men I’ve known were uptight. Sticklers. And you were…you were so free when I knew you. But I guess…I guess we actually have a lot to learn about each other.”

“I was kind of a rule breaker in the military.” He admits with a grin. “It was join Statesman or going to the brig.”

“That sounds more like the man I knew.” It makes you smile, despite the ache on his behalf for the loss of his wife and first child. Losing Mallory would completely destroy you.

“I— when we met, I was sure that no one would ever touch my heart again.” He takes another sip of his whiskey. “And when you did, you scared the shit out of me.”

“If it’s any consolation, you surprised me, too.” Picking up your glass again seems to be the best way to keep yourself from holding onto him like a lifeline so you cradle it in both hands and look down into the amber liquid so you don’t have to see if he reacts badly to what you’re about to say. “I didn’t exactly think that I was going to meet the only man I’d ever love at 21.”

“Did you try to move on, darlin’?” He asks quietly. “Surely there someone that had captured your interest?”

“I tried.” You nod but hesitate to look up at him, afraid of being overly emotional while you talk. “But nothing really came of any of it. Finding a man my own age was out because none of them wanted to be fathers so young, and after I while I realized that none…none of them compared to you anyway. And Mal doesn’t deserve to have some half-assed excuse for a stepfather just because I miss sharing a bed with someone. I love her too much to bring anyone into her life that isn’t worthy of her.”

“That’s good.” Jack can’t fault you for your view. “I haven’t found anyone either. One-night stands are as close to a connection as I’ve made in the past fifteen years.”

“Well.” When you shrug again it is accompanied by a lopsided smile. “You had your secret life to protect. Can’t fault you for being picky about who you share it with.”

“It wasn’t because of that.” He murmurs softly. “It was because of someone else.”

“You…met someone else?” It shouldn’t surprise you. And it shouldn’t hurt as badly as it does. But you can feel every single one of those long-seen hopes breaking in half as you take a long drink of that whiskey he’s now known for.

Jack looks at you for a moment before he snorts and shakes his head. “Sweetheart…” he shuffles closer. “I was talking about you.”

“You—?” Shock paints your face yet again, and your head shoots up to find him looking down at you so softly that you could just break right down and cry. It makes your voice soft and your shoulders round, and your eyebrows raise up in bewildered surprise. “You really loved me that much?”

His hand comes up to stroke your cheek, wanting nothing more than to lean in and kiss away your surprise, but he doesn’t. Instead he looks into your eyes and nods seriously. “Darlin’ I left my heart with you in Mexico. You— you made me realize I could love again, and you swiped it right up and took it with you when we went our own way.”

“I took a little bit more of you with me than just that,” you remind him, shifting slightly so you can thread your fingers through his other hand. “But you…I guess you never knew that you carried my heart all these years, like I didn’t know I carried yours.” It’s sobering, an irony of the glass you have in your hand, and you move that much closer to him on the couch. “We were so caught up in having the best temporary moments together that we didn’t consider letting it be more.”

“I don’t know if I woulda been good for you until I got my head on straight.” Jacks admits, knowing he had to work through some issues to admit his feelings for you back then.

“Seems an awful lot like a second chance.” You’re almost afraid to say it, but the echo of that kiss in your kitchen and the shy graze of his calloused fingertips on your cheek give you so much hope that you’re bursting with it.

“It seems like.” He hums, enjoying the way your eyes flutter slightly. “It would be a shame to waste it, wouldn’t it?” He asks, his thumb rubbing over your bottom lip before he leans in and kisses you again.

It would be a damn shame to waste it, you could not agree more. You’re so eager not to waste it that you barely get your glass onto the nearest table, abandoning it entirely to run your fingers through Jack’s thick hair and pull him closer.

There is a groan that rumbles from his mouth, into yours. Passionate and lusty while his own hand fumbles to deposit the nearly empty glass so he can wrap his hand around your back and tug you back towards him. It's what he's wanted for so long. Needed for so long and it's finally here.

You’re not sure which one of you loses balance first, but the result of desperately clinging to each other and refusing to let go lies in Jack toppling backward and taking you with him. It is by no means the first time you have ended up sprawled out across his chest in a fit of passion, but it has been long enough since the last time that it makes both of you smile into the kiss. You might have laughed if you weren’t so hungry to swallow every other sound he feeds you.

Jack grunts, grinning against your lips and he takes advantage by sliding his hand down to cup your ass. Rocking you on the steadily hardening bulge in the front of his jeans.

Whimpering in response, you plant your knees easily on either side of his trim hips to steady yourself and let all your sounds of approval drip into his mouth. It’s been years since you so much as kissed someone, let alone was in such a compromising position with anyone, but you soak it up with glee – because it’s him.

Suddenly it’s fifteen years ago. Both of you greedy and unable to get enough of each other. Keeping his lips on yours while he’s kicking at his boots, trying to toe them off so he can move on to removing other clothing. Unless you want him too, he’s not stopping.

Needy moans and sighs fill the room, elevating the sound of pants and labored breathing to a favourite symphony. His boots and your shoes hit the floor gracelessly, letting your balance shift once more to focus on unbuttoning his shirt even though your hands are clumsy and eager.

“Jesus.” Once the two of you come up for air, it’s a race to see who can get more buttons undone, or ripped. Jack doesn’t give a shit. The sacrifice of a shirt is a small price to pay for being able to touch you. Reaching between you when you get it opened, he flicks the button of your jeans open and drags down your zipper.

“Should’ve— fuck— worn a dress,” you grumble, hating the few seconds that you have to lift off of him to actually pull your clothing off. Your favourite shirt and most flattering jeans hit the floor with an unceremonious thunk, and you wish like hell that you had thought to put on cuter underwear for a split second before getting self-conscious. This isn’t the same body he knew – you’ve changed since pregnancy and childbirth, filled out with age. There is always a chance, however slim, that he might not be attracted to you as much as he used to be.

“Fucking hell.” Jack moans as he grabs onto your hips, larger and softer than they were before. Matured. He loves it. “Still fucking gorgeous.” He thought you were a knockout fifteen years ago, but you are even more beautiful now. Maybe it’s because you’re the mother of his child, or still hold his heart, but you are everything he wants in a woman.

That answers that, you think with a grin, as Jack practically pulls you back into his lap. “Jeans,” you mumble against his lips, your fingers already working to pull his belt buckle open. The man has never owned a single pair of jeans that wasn’t a damn second skin – not then and not now – and you love it.

Jack growls when you start to push and tug his jeans down. "Fuck, I'll do it, take off your fucking shirt." He begs, gently pushing you off of him so he can leap up off the couch and start to peel the jeans down his thighs.

You have never minded taking orders when they’re that eager, and twenty seconds later you’re standing completely naked next to the couch as he finishes kicking off his jeans and pulling off the undershirt that he was wearing under his plaid. He’s softer now, a slight belly where there used to be flat abs, and his thighs thicker with that little bit of inevitable padding that has kept strong muscles safe over the years. The body of a god right up to the cowboy pornstache and it makes you grin wickedly. “Lie back, baby,” you insist, moving to get back on the sofa and straddle his waist again.

He fucking loved, loved, when you rode him. Always teasing that he was your broncin' buck and you were trying to break him in. Laying down and reaching for you, noticing your breasts have changed and loving that fact. Giving him the daughter that is next door changed your body and when he gets the chance, he's going to kiss and praise each change individually. "Jesus, I don't remember the last time I've been this hard." He groans, cock twitching against his stomach.

“Probably the last time I was this wet.” Rolling your hips forward in his lap drags your dripping cunt along the underside of his cock and makes you both moan. “Fuck, Jack.” Actually having him beneath you again and not just imagining him with your fingers between your thighs is a head rush of the highest order, making you wish you could still swivel your hips like you used to, to just slide him right inside you.

"Yeah?" Jack grunts, tensing his stomach muscles and making his cock lift a few inches off his belly. "You like the feel of that cock against your pussy, sweetheart?" He moans himself when you grind down against him a little harder. "You— you should feel it inside you again, just to be sure you like it."

Steadying yourself with one hand on the back of the sofa, your other wraps around his thick length eagerly, guiding the tip of his cock to your entrance when you lift your hips. It’s all a series of relatively small movements, but sinking down on him – slowly, because shit you forgot how thick he is – is that perfect, sinful version of heaven you’ve been missing for years and years. The way your pussy has to stretch to accommodate him makes you cry out in pleasure, head dropping back while all your focus jumps to the twitching cock inside you.

Hissing between his clenched teeth, Jack tries to stay still. To not buck up and bury himself deep as your tight walls slide over him. He's already about to bust and he will curse himself blue if he disappoints you like that. Needing to make sure that you cum at least twice before he lets go himself. Especially since he hadn't eaten that pretty little cunt like he should have. After, he'll do that after. Right now, his hands are clawing at your hips and his feet are pushing against the end of the sofa so hard the damn thing creaks in protest.

There is no wasted time here, no pause to absorb or adjust, just the greedy rhythm of rise and fall as you set a slow pace riding him. He looks exquisite underneath you – like some kind of pornographic Renaissance painting – and you let yourself fall forward to press another earnest, sloppy kiss to his lips.

Jack pants against your lips, eyes fixed on you as you bounce on his cock. His hands helping you rise and sink down on him. Encouraging you to ride him at your pace but also encouraging you when your pace falters.

“M-missed you so fucking much.” It falls from your lips without thinking, the roar of your pounding blood too much to blot out the rambling of your heart. “Always l-loved you.”

"God, I love you." He breathes out, feeling like he's drowning at how harshly he's breathing and still cannot get air. He loves it. Winding his arms around you like steel bands and dragging you down to his chest while he starts to thrust up into you.

Fingertips grasping his chest for purchase mean your nails scrape over his nipples, making him gasp and you grin. He always liked just a touch of pain with his pleasure, the roughness being a gorgeous byproduct of how needy you both always were for each other.

“Fuck!” Jack bucks his hips up, dragging you down to bite on your bottom lip and grind up into you. Sex with you was always unrestrained and it seems like nothing has changed. Sure the parts are aged, but the two of you seem to work like a well-oiled machine together. The memories come back in a flood with every touch – what he liked best and the things you had discovered together. Your skin burns under his attention, his tongue tracing searing circles on your neck and chest and large hands imprinting themselves on your sides as he clutches you against him.

Groaning against your skin, he reacquaints himself with your taste. There’s nothing like it, intoxicating and completely you. “Good girl.” He pants. “You’re just as sweet as the first time I had you.”

You keen at the praise, never having been shy about loving it from him, and grind yourself down on his cock with a gasp. The extra friction of coarse hair at the base of his shaft on your sensitive clit makes you buck and whine, as your thighs starting to shake and the tightening coil in your belly heralds an orgasm like you haven’t felt in years.

“That’s it. That’s it.” Jack growls, watching you fall apart in awe. You’ve always been breathtaking when you cum, but this time is punching him in the gut. Making him lunge up and capture your lips with his own, swallowing your cries for himself.

Shaking in his arms isn’t a new sensation for you, but it’s like you’re feeling it for the first time all over again. Sobbing his own name into that kiss is like a prayer, and you feel for a moment like you’re floating on the most wonderful cloud in the world as he fucks you slowly through the aftershocks.

Jack hums, slowly lowering himself back down to the couch and sighing, stroking your back gently as you pant on his chest. “Like riding the best bike.”

“Not done yet,” you hum, regaining the rise and fall rhythm after the moment you need to catch your breath.

Jack chuckles and slides his hand down to grip your ass. “What if I told you I came?” He asks playfully.

“No you didn’t.” Your chuckle is throaty and deep. “You’re still hard, and you didn’t do the thing with your eyebrows.” The thing happens every time, or at least it used to, and the way his forehead would knit together in intense concentration only for his eyebrows to raise up fully in relaxation afterward became one of your favorite little quirks of his.

He chuckles again, shaking his head as he wonders how you know him so well. "Guilty." He strokes your back and hums. "I just don't want you too sore, darlin'."

“If you really don’t want to fill me up, I guess I understand.” Rolling your hips in a figure right in his lap draws a sharp gasp from him and you grin. “But I’ll be glad to be sore from taking you.”

“Sweetheart, you’re gonna kill me.” He groans and grins at you. “Make me cum.” He orders, slapping your hip playfully.

“You’d love to go out with your cock wet.” Nipping at his bottom lip, you only pull away so you can sit up in his lap. It gives him the best view of your tits as you ramp up your pace, bouncing on his cock with renewed vigor.

“Only if it’s your juices on my cock.” He huffs, reaching up and cupping one of your tits. “Fuck baby.” He watches you with wonder. “You’re gonna make me cum.”

It’s a race now, fingertips finding your clit and rubbing fierce circles over the swollen nub to see if you can find a second peak along with him. “Come on, baby.” There’s no better feeling than this one, right here, and you keep your eyes steady on him despite how badly they want to flutter shut. “Cum in me. F—fuck! Fill me up, Jack.”

His hips are bucking up off the sofa, his arms the only thing keeping you anchored and not flying off his cock. Whining at how good you feel around him. When he cums, blood rushes into his ears and his shout is loud and pleasure filled.

You collapse easily into his chest, panting for breath in the wake of that rushed second orgasm that just barely followed his. The combination of your own cum with his paints your pussy just as assuredly as sweat has beaded on his chest, but you lean up to kiss the space between his eyebrows with a grin. That ecstatic expression on his face when his eyebrows raise will never get old.

Humming, he purses his lips at you until you kiss him. Relaxing into the sofa now that both of you are satisfied. “Still batting a thousand.” He jokes, remembering the small teasing way you had set up a scoring system on sex.

Huffing playfully, you can’t help but grin at him. “Does it help or hurt your average that you actually fucked me so hard that you bypassed my birth control?”

“I think that counts as a grand slam.” He jokes, sliding his hands up and down your back slowly as the two of you relax. “Technically speaking, I did exactly what the act is supposed to do.”

“Technically.” You can’t really disagree with that, so you just snuggle happily into his arms and giggle slightly to yourself. “Way better than a walk.”

“Yes it was.” He agrees with a smirk, leaning up to kiss the top of your head. “Although, we do still need to talk.” It’s a hell of an ice breaker though, considering his cock is still inside you.

“I guess.” The exaggerated roll of your eyes is only to make him smile, and you draw yourself away from him reluctantly. “Give me just a minute to use the bathroom and then we can pretend to be rational adults?”

“It should be in the same location as yours.” He agrees, sitting up as you stand. “No weird tech watching you in there.” He promises with a wink. “Just old-fashioned leering on my part.”

“You’re allowed.” You promise him, striding off to his downstairs bathroom to clean yourself up and steal a moment of composure. However this conversation goes, it’s sure to be emotional.

While you're gone, Jack tugs on his boxer briefs and pours the two of you another round of whiskey. He hadn't expected the sex, even though it was great. He had truly meant for the two of you talk. He picks up your clothes and folds them neatly to set on a chair for you to dress or not, and turns on the gas fireplace. He misses the wood burning fireplace in Kentucky but can't fault the convenience of this.

When you return just a few minutes later, a self-consciousness has set in that has stolen the sway from your hips and made you grateful that Jack had stacked your clothes because it makes it a hell of a lot faster to pull them on. Not that that reunion wasn’t amazing – but you were supposed to be talking.

As disappointed as he is that you are dressing, he understands it. After you button the last button, he saunters over to you and hands you the whiskey glass. “So, what do you want, darlin’?” He asks softly. “Perfect world.”

“Perfect world?” You sip the amber liquid with a sigh – Statesman is actually incredibly tasty – and let your eyes shut for just a moment on the fantasy. The one you’ve had thousands of times over the years. “You.” You murmur, buying yourself a moment with another small sip. “Us. Our family together.”

“Okay.” He’s a little relieved that you are making it so easy for him. “I want to make sure that we make the right choices, and our daughter is priority.” He doesn’t want to fuck up or make some kind of mistake with her. “Let me know what kind of role you want me to have.”

“I want you to be as involved as you want to be.” It seems like a pithy answer, but it’s honest. You don’t have any idea how demanding his life is, or what his completely insane job might necessitate. “In a perfect world – the fantasy one – we would decide we can’t live without each other and we’d get married, and you’d be there for everything. But your life is…it’s more complicated than that. And I don’t know what is realistic to ask of you.”

Jack nods, understanding what you are saying. “I think that marriage would be the goal for us.” He says honestly. “But I do want you to see if you can handle the life I live. Date me and see if I match the memory in your pretty head.”

“I might not match what you remember, either.” Or, your worst fear, he may decide he doesn’t want to be a father after all. Actually make the conscious decision to leave you and Mallory. “Dating seems like the smart plan.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Changed some, maybe less partying and semipublic sex, but I doubt you are much different that the girl I fell in love with.”

“Definitely less public sex.” There’s no debating that, and you practically snort into your drink as you shake your head. “My life is Mallory now. I go to the office, and I have Mal. That’s it.”

He nods, knowing that his own life is just work. “When I’m not on assignment, I’m normally just in the office every day.”

“But when you are…” Your eyes tick up to his. “You’re in danger.”

“Sometimes.” He admits but shoots you a grin. “But I’m real good at my job, darlin’.”

“So what happens when you go on a mission?” It’s the thing you can’t really wrap your head around, for obvious reasons. “I’m assuming it’s not all…shoot ups and seductions like in the movies?” At least you hope not.

Jack snorts and shakes his head. “A lot of times it’s boring intel gathering.” He explains. “And to be honest, the seduction gets old after a while. Some of these women look like little girls!” He huffs. “I’m getting old, starting to leave that to Tequila. He’s still a young buck.”

“Tequila?” The code name makes you laugh, snorting softly at how silly it sounds to your untrained ear. “Are you all named after liquor?”

“Champ is short for Champagne.” He tells you with a grin. “But don’t let him hear you callin’ him that.”

“He didn’t strike me as a champagne guy, but that was just a first impression.” Sitting back down on the couch, you draw your legs up beside you and wrap both hands around your glass with a tentative expression on your face. “So…you wouldn’t be getting shot at or sleeping with other women every time?”

“If we are together, I won’t be sleeping with anyone but you.” Jack assures you. “I’m too old to play games. Never was a man who liked a cheat.”

“Okay.” You reach for his hand, squeezing it tightly. “I…I wouldn’t have stopped you from doing your job. But it would have made me uncomfortable.”

He understands, if the roles were reversed, he would feel the same. “So we date, and we make sure that we are giving our daughter a healthy relationship to look up to.” Jack chuckles. “It’s a damn good thing you live next door.”

“We’re honest with each other and we communicate.” Never in your life have you sat and methodically plotted out your relationship like this, but maybe that was okay. Maybe doing something different was key. After all, none of those other relationships had stuck, had they? There must have been a reason. “All she’s ever wanted is to have her dad in her life. She’s going to be thrilled.”

“Darlin’, you’ve—” Jack chokes up slightly and slides closer to you. Setting his glass down so he can cup your cheek. His eyes are slightly watery but he doesn’t give a damn. “You’ve given me the best gift I could have ever imagine.” He chokes out softly. “You’re back in my life and you’ve given me a daughter, a family.”

“I hope you’re ready for baseball games and Taylor Swift concerts.” Smiling against his hand is the easiest feeling in the world, lighting you up from the inside out. “And Disney and horror movies in equal measure.”

“I’m ready for it all.” Jack grins. “Statesman has season tickets to the Yankees.”

"If you weren't already her dad, that would make you her favourite person." Setting your glass down again, you can allow yourself the luxury of sinking into his arms and inhaling the comforting smell of his cologne and whatever makes up him – along with the smell of sex that always seems to accompany you. Especially back then. "I love you, Jack." You murmur, roping your arms around him. "Always have."

“I love you too, darlin’.” Jack presses his lips to your forehead and sighs softly. “I love you so much, and I promises you – now that I’ve got you back in my arms again – I’m never lettin’ you go.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat​ @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri    

My Masterlist!

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - THE DIRT 1.25

IMDB BLURB: Based on the bestselling autobiography from Mötley Crüe, the film is an unflinching tale of success and excess as four misfits rise from the streets of Hollywood to the heights of international fame.

WARNINGS: Sex, so much sex. Boobs. Graphic depictions of drug use. Horrible 80s hair. Pete Davidson. We’re fucking dumb.

RATING: You don’t know fuckin’ shit about Motley Crue.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: The absolute shit I do for you. This movie had better slap ass because I really don't like Motley Crue and I don't think they're hot and there had better be some shit to make fun of. Like Motley Crue. I really hope I get to make fun of Motley Crue. I'm gonna start right now by making fun of the way they spelled Motley Crue like a bunch of fucking edgelords.

Biscuits "How many calories are in tequila" Horrorslash: where the hell is my shotglass??!? WHOO YEAH BABEY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! This movie gave Motley Crue a huge resurgence in popularity. Everyone saw it and was like - my poor little meow meows uwu. Like - if by that you mean four feral cats let loose in your house screeching and pissing everywhere then yeah.

M: So we open with a little intro to the 80's and people are fucking and ...squirting...publicly....and I'm about to make Biscuits write this entire thing himself.

B: What did you really expect? Nikki is narrating and he has a sad backstory so everyone gets to slobber over him.

M: I'm not picking sides. I don't think any of them are cute. Why does Nikki's dad look like Charles Manson? He's very mouthy for like....a 10 year old? Nikki cuts his arm with a knife to blame his shit ass mom for it.

B: It is based on a book so it's them retelling their own rock star backstories, so take this with as many inches of dick as we're gonna assign to them. So Tommy gets like 8 and a half and Nikki gets like 3.

M: I'm not gonna ask how you know how big everyone's dick is.

B: These men have shown many parts of themselves. Tommy was naked like 90 percent of the time. Also that was a joke, I’m not even saying it’s accurate.

M: I still don't wanna know. So Frank Jr is now Nikki Sixx because he grew up and shit.

Frank Jr.? But he’s just a little girl!

M: Now Tommy is narrating? He comes from like...super suburban normal life. His family is like super normal and healthy. Except Tommy.

B: Tommy Lee was really attractive when he was young. He's the youngest! Tommy and Nikki meet in a diner and they're like - we should totally be in a band and fuck girls in the vicinity of each other! Or just touch tips. Nikki is like - my new band is gonna be so cool! I'm gonna get like 4 rabid raccoons together and just turn em loose on a stage! They find a guitarist but he's shitty and they hate him.

M: Who's this dude? (Mick Mars, he's gonna be the guitarist.) He doesn't like Tommy's old band, they suck. Mick Mars is a dick, jesus. He's like - I am the best guitarist EVAR.

B: Mick Mars is a better guitarist than most people. I have some respect for him, unlike the other members of the band. He's got ankylosing spondylitis and he can walk in heels and play guitar better than I probably ever will. So the band has picked up an old man with bone disease.

M: That's pretty fucking hardcore tho, no wonder he's such a dick. Chronic pain does shit to a person. They are looking for some random skinny dude with attitude to sing in the band. The requirements are so low here.

B: Tommy is giving off major Bill and Ted vibes.

M: They find what I assume Vince Neil singing at a pool party and they're like - HE IS SURROUNDED BY BABES we must take him. This guy looks nothing like Vince Neil.

People ask me - “What don’t you like about Motley Crue music?” I say, “The sound.”

B: Tommy speaks at 300 words per second. Vince is doing coke with his girlfriend because it was the 80's and everyone did cocaine except Jon Bon Jovi.

M: He's not even a rock star yet. This is the most haphazard getting a band together I've ever heard of. They're just like HEY WE ARE A BAND NOW AND WE'RE GONNA GET SO LAID!

B: Vince's girlfriend is just gonna stand there.

M: She's already trying to manage the band but they're gonna shut her down with the power of BUTTROCK!

B: Tommy Lee has the energy of a crackhead even when he's not high. He's lighting cockroaches on fire with hairspray. Nikki has a whole notebook full of doodles of pentagrams and shitty band names. That's just me. I have that same notebook.

M: Why is Mick the only sane member of this band?

B: He doesn't have the energy to do like all the fucked up shit, he's too tired. Vince looks like 80's coked up hooker barbie.

The bass player is the loser of the band, yes he is - if you don’t believe me, take a look at the one you’re with!

M: I guess they're playing a gig now? Or not. Vince and co are already kicking people's asses before a note has been sung.

B: They're throwing hands. And everyone is like - FUCK YEAH THIS BAND RULES! THEY JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE! I'd like to state for the record that my stenographer is refusing to type out some of the things I am saying. She's becoming more of a lesbian every second.

M: Number 1 - I am not your stenographer. 2 - you can edit in whatever you want but I am typing RIGHT NOW, 3 - I really am. Wtf is going on in the movie?

B: A montage of them doing gigs. That's Pete Davidson! They haven't been signed yet tho so I guess that's where Pete comes in. There's probably gonna be even more sex scenes in this movie.

M: There's already been like four!

B: THICK ASS. I almost put my hands on the table and howled like a wolf.

M: You'll be glad later that I left so many things out. So now Pete is talking to them and there's some chick under the table giving random blow jobs but he doesn't want one.

B: And now more violence!

M: Mick Mars just straight up Deadpools us by talking directly to the camera and he is now my favorite member of Motley Crue, at least in this movie.

He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s 45

B: Nikki doesn’t like Kiss. I like Kiss. Munch doesn't even like Kiss! What DO you like?? What do you listen to that's so great!?? Kate Bush? Bruno Mars or some shit?

M: You need more alcohol. I just don't fuckin' like BUTTROCK.

B: GLAM METAL. Buttrock is deragatory.

M: It's meant to be. Vince is somehow fucking yet another girl. How does he have time in his day for this. Pete talks to the camera and tells us not to leave our girlfriend alone with Motley Crue because they'll fuck her.

B: Probably good advice. Just a bunch of dudes in leather and studs and makeup. Just dudes being guys.

M: It was a very straight thing to do in the 80's.

B: I don't think that's the original track. That's not Vince singing...ugh. (disclaimer: read to the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH!)

M: How you even noticed that...and now for some good old fashioned SATANIC PANIC! And the band comparing how many women they've fucked. Once again Mick proves to be the only human being in the group. Who I think is supposed to be Ozzy in a dress comes around with money sticking out of his ass. Ozzy snorts...ants.

B: And pisses on the concrete. Both seem entirely like something Ozzy would do. Then licks it up. Oh Tommy sounds like he liked that

M: WHY AM I BEING MADE TO WATCH THIS. Ozzy is licking up Nikki's piss now. An aside from Doc says what we're all thinking.

B: Is this the indecent exposure incident??

M: Which one????

B: The one where Tommy was running through a hotel naked and some people got mad about it. And they arrested Mick instead.

M: Doc says they did stupid shit because they were Motley Crue. And now the mud wrestling sequence. 

B: They're acting like Vince was the most horny dude. Maybe he was but like - these other guys are also horny. Vince is like - Sharice you're my girl, move in with me, I won't fuck as many women. I was about to ask how these dudes had the energy to fuck this much but then oh yeah! Cocaine!

They’re soooo together!

M: Tommy is introducing people to his family and new fiancee? He has a few of them. Tommy's mom is SAVAGE. Tommy is coming across like a 12 year old with too much freedom.

B: That is basically accurate. 3 middle school boys and their dad who drinks a lot. 

M: Tommy and his new fiancee are having some...difficulties. 

B: This is not the last time Tommy will hit a woman. He had a bit of a temper.

M: I feel like you don't really need to watch this. You already are like...a Motley Crue historian. 

B: Oh we're just gonna drive drunk and leave Vince's pregnant wife here, I sure hope nothing bad happens! 

M: Oh yeah I forgot Tommy and Heather Locklear were a thing. 

B: "I love you." Tommy Lee to every woman he meets. It's the drummer from Hanoi Rocks in the car with Vince I think. And now death. This really did happen and yes he was drunk and yes that man died. 

M: But it's fine because they're in Motley Crue. 

B: Whoops! Uh oh. Oopsie Daisy. That man is dead. And it's your fault, Vince.

All the girls want to know - who’s the cutest boy on death row?

M: VINCE GETS 30 DAYS FOR MURDERING A DUDE. Wtf. Nikki is very sad that Vince is in jail but it's okay because he's on heroin now and Biscuits is never ever gonna have a heroin addiction because he can't stand needles. 

B: I can't even inject my own testosterone! And that doesn't even have to go into my veins! Vince has returned from uh...killing a guy.

M: Is he sober now?

B: Supposedly. No nevermind he's immediately snorting cocaine. And vomiting.

M: Oh he's snorting smack, no wonder he's sick. Nikki keeps blaming Vince for fucking up the band when he's busy injecting heroin every other scene. And missing repeated calls from his sad mother. Tommy Lee is in love every five minutes in this movie. Vince now has a kid I guess but she doesn't seem to like him much?

B: Well.....Theatre of Pain, are they gonna show Theatre of Pain Tommy Lee because I might have to take a break.

M: That's between you and jesus. Tommy Lee gives a life on the road montage where he shows everyone getting wasted and performing and then getting wasted again. Drink, snort and fuck everything in sight. It's a wonder they lived this long tbh.

B: All four of them are still alive actually!

M: It's honestly a miracle. This is hard to like...narrate because it's so chaotic. It's just like - watching a band go bonkers and slowly self destruct. (disclaimer: read til the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH about why it was so hard to narrate!)

B: That's the beauty of it all! It's 4th of July, we're recording this, well not recording it, but you know. There’s fireworks outside and fireworks on the screen. Nikki has mommy issues! Oh poor little meow meow. Come sit on my lap poor little meow meow!

M: People are gonna take you seriously.

B: I was joking there. Like 70 percent. 80 percent. Oh my god, not in your neck Nikki, ew.

M: I guess Tommy is getting married. Nikki is wasted as fuck.

B: You've got more opportunities Tommy! You'll have several more happiest days of your life! Nikki can't even put his suit jacket on. This your man? This your boy? Somebody come get him. Nikki Sixx did a LOT of heroin.

M: 1000 dollars a day is a lot of heroin.

B: Is this the part where he died?

M: You're the Motley Crue historian.

B: I'm not sure if this is that time when he overdosed or if he's just normal shooting up heroin. Wtf did you give him, I gave him heroin!

M: I'm guessing that's an overdose.

Hey guys...Kyle’s dead!

B: Nikki went to the great beyond! But he came back!

M: This was apparently before naxolo...naxostuff.

B: I think that's just adrenaline. I was happy, but I kept doing heroin! That's how drugs work, kids. Oh my god, they didn't need to show the vein thing more than once.

M: Well it's a good message to kids watching this. Drugs are gross. They will turn you into a bleeding arm gross man-thing. Now they're sober and shit and they hate each other.

B: They can't stand to be around each other when they're not high. They all had massive prima donna egos.

M: Hardly a shock. But they're all good clean boys now. Trying to have family lives and shit. And hating each other. A lot more. Vince is going to be a huge dick about this. He wants to have FUN. I really enjoy's Mick's little asides. He's just kind of in the background with his fucking vodka like - these dudes are all idiots.

B: Vince's wife left him. And he left the band.

M: If Pearl Jam is here their career is almost over anyway.

B: And then the 90's happened! It was a bad time for Motley Crue. Big manly rocker boy egos clash! I don't like you guys anymore! We're gonna get a new singer! John uh....Corabi. But they don't have a blonde guy anymore so it's never gonna work.

M: You can't have a buttrock band without a blonde guy!

B: Oh yeah Vince's daughter died of cancer, I forgot about that.

M: WHAT. That's super fucked up. Nobody likes new Motley Crue without Vince. He was kinda one of those unique voices. JohnBoy out here like WHOO I'M IN A ROCK BAND! He's about to be so disappointed.

Someone's gonna get a punch in the head. Who d'ya thinks gonna get a punch in the head?

B: There's a whole crowd of people out here booing you!

M: Everything is going to Motley Hell. Vince's kid is dying, Mick isn't looking so hot, Tommy's Heather is leaving him, Nikki is just sulking.

B: Yeah we had a good ride, except for all the drugs and you know...death, and crime...and punishment...Vince's kid, yeah she died. Nikki visits his dad's grave.

M: And meets a half brother he didn't know he had?? What the fuck is this shit

B: Oh he means a FAMILY! He needs a family!

M: His own MOTLEY CREW. NIkki and Tommy make up and touch tips and go out to find Mick who is looking more and more like death warmed over every day. But to be fair, he's got a condition.

B: We're getting the band back together, even though they just broke up. Vince, we love you man. You're our blonde man, man. There may be a million other slutty blonde men out there but you're OUR slutty blonde guy. Sometimes a family is four dudes who do drugs.

M: They're gonna go perform again I guess? Long slow dramatic walk to the stage.

B: Maybe the real treasure...the REAL MOTLEY CRUE is the friends we made along the way! And some tasteful ass shots!

“ One day you’ll look back on this as the best time in your life.” “ I sure hope not!”

M: Priorities. I guess they played together for another 20 years for some fucking reason.

B: Until 2015 but...They're doing a stadium tour like...as we speak.

M: Why. I don't really have anything to add. Biscuits just hurt himself headbanging. Oh my god. I just realized I forgot to turn the speed down and we just watched that entire movie at 1.25 speed. No wonder Tommy Lee was talking so fast.

B: *chokes to death on laughter* I can't believe we did that.

M: That's so fucking funny.

B: It's so on brand. I THOUGHT the songs sounded weird!! Holy fuck, oh my god. I don't even have any closing thoughts now because that's so fucking funny. Closing thoughts: we are two of the dumbest people who've ever lived.

[craftycheetah]

Purr Like an Engine pt.8

Toga’s constant ringing of your doorbell pulled you away from your breakfast as you swallowed the first half of your omelet. Petting your cat Neo, you smile as she trills against your hand,

“Open up bestie! You still owe me from our convo last night!” she shouts as you make your way to the front door. “Good morning!”

“Hi Toga…”

“Don’t be like that, Y/n! Call me Himiko!”

“Fine, hi Himiko. Did you seriously come back because you wanted to know more about what I said yesterday?”

“I told you that I would. Now, spill the tea, bestie! I even came by without my jacket!”

“Alright, alright, so—”

After telling Himiko about Hitoshi and everything that’s happened outside of what Shiggy and Dabi have told her, you roll your eyes as she asks you to describe him.

“He’s charming and cares about the cats at the cafe as much as I do! We kind of co-parent one, though it’s hard to explain,” you smile.

“Bestie’s got it bad,” Himiko snickers.

“What?! I don’t like him. I just think he’s friendly, and that he’s a cat magnet. He tips well, has good taste in sweets, and asks for the most delicious coffee order. His hair looks so fluffy, and he looks kinda buff especially when he’s on that bike….”

“You like him~.”

“Stop it,” you whine.

“It’s the truth,” Himiko grins.

As you playfully shove her away, the sound of a cat meowing from your phone pulls your attention away from her.

“Lavender Coffee Addict? He’s calling you?! Oooh, pick up, pick up!” Himiko squeals.

“Do you mind?” you scoff as she walks toward your living room, opting to bother Neo.

Swiping right, you put the phone to your ear and put on a congested voice. “H-Hello?” you sniffle.

“Hey, cupcake. How do you feel? Hopefully better than yesterday?”

“Oh! Hey Hitoshi!” You sniffle. “Well, not too much good news, I’m still stuffy and sick.”

“Aww, poor thing? Do you want me to come by? I’ll bring you some soup and some medicine if you haven’t taken any yet?”

“No! It’s okay, don’t come over! I’ll be okay. I’ll be back next week.”

“So I get delicious coffee made by my favorite barista again? As long as you’re healthy, I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Feeling your heart skip a beat, you ignore the rising heat to your face and the coo of admiration from the other room.

“T-thanks. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Get some rest, cupcake. I’ll see you next week.”

“Alright, see you then. Bye.”

Pressing the red button on the screen, you let out a sigh while placing your phone face down. A grumble escaped your lips as you slapped a hand over your forehead and curved your body back, groaning at the way your muscles stretched. Thoughts raced your mind as you began to question if Toga was right, and if you were really fond of him, maybe a little too fond.

In the other room, Toga overheard you talking to Hitoshi. ‘She deserves to have someone like him. Shiggy doesn’t need to know everything…right?’ Toga thinks.

After your house arrest is over, you’re ecstatic when you’re finally free to leave your house.

You entered the cafe through the back door, turning on the light and grabbing your apron from off the hanger. The sun had not come up yet and the early morning sky glistened from the windows. The only noise in the cafe was the gentle snoring of cats and of course your footsteps, but you kept them light so as not to disturb the cats. 

You checked your watch and read the numbers, the clock reading “5:30”. The cafe opened at 6. You did some light cleaning and organizing of cat treats and toys before you took your place behind the counter. By the time you were done, the sun started to peek from behind the mountains, rays of light beginning to gleam through the window, taking the place of the darkness and waking up a couple of the cats. 

Half an hour passed before the first customer of the day walked through the door. 

You looked up from your phone as you heard the happy chime of the doorbells. You placed down the electronic as you internally sighed and began to recite the motto you were taught during training. 

“Welcome to the Paw-fee House, how may I—” you smile before trailing off.

The air suddenly got cold as you looked up to see the familiar face of your regular customer. 

“O-oh, hey, Hitoshi!” 

You frantically looked around to see if any opposing bikers were nearby. Not wanting to take the risk, you looked down at the counter, hoping it might calm your nerves if you didn’t look at Hitoshi. 

“Hey (Y/N), are you feeling better?” He tilted his head. 

“Yep! Much better!” You still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Good, I’m really glad that you’re okay,”

“What would you like to order?” you ask, hoping he quickly orders.

Hitoshi paused as he felt something off. 

‘Is she… rushing the conversation?’ Hitoshi thinks as he notices your nervousness, “Uh… my usual. Where’s the little kitten?” he asks.

“He’s good, he’s off sleeping somewhere,” you sputtered.  “Here, let me get that drink for you,”

He stared at you as you went behind the counter to the back and prepared his drink, your behavior captivating him as his hands wandered to the warmth of his pockets. After a few minutes, you’re speedwalking to the front desk and handing the man his drink, nearly tripping and spilling it all over him, but successfully keeping your balance. 

“That will be the usual price,” you mumble.

Hitoshi reaches for his wallet and pulls out the money, handing it to you. While exchanging the bills, you tug him in close by his hand, lowering your voice to a hushed tone. 

“Text me later,”

You grab the money and lightly shove him away, making the interaction look as natural as possible. He nods and walks out of the store, not even stopping to pet the cats. 

“That was… weird,” He says to himself. 

Later that night, Hitoshi drove back to their clubhouse, parking his bike outside.

“Good, you’re here,” Katsuki huffs. “Where do we start?” 

“First things first!” Mina clapped her hands together. “Denki, tell us everything you saw that day you went back to get your jacket.”

“Well, first I woke up and saw my feet, they were exposed and I was super cold. Then i saw my phone and-”

“Not what she means, Denki….” Kirishima let out a lighthearted laugh at his friend’s antics. 

“Describe every detail of the biker you saw, specifically,” Jirou chimed in.

“Oh, okay!” He smiled. “So he had dark hair, but I think it was dyed because I know I saw white roots! And he was really tall too! Blue eyes, if I recall correctly, but they were a really distinct blue! And his jacket, I’ve never seen that type of biker jacket before! I didn’t get a good glimpse, but it was definitely a biker jacket. I could tell by the symbol on the back, but I don’t have too good a memory of the symbol.”

“Do you think he visits the cafe often?” Sero asked.

“Probably not with the way y/n froze up,” Denki’s smile fell.

“Okay, so we know we’re looking for a tall guy with dyed black hair and blue eyes.” Jirou confirmed. “Did you see which side of the street he came from?”

“Uh, left!” Determination filled Denki’s eyes.

“So we know he was coming from… downtown, Hitoshi. Do you happen to know where Y/N lives?” Eijirou brought a thumb to his chin.

“Well, no, we never really discussed that….”

Everyone, excluding Hitoshi, let out a loud groan of frustration, Hitoshi scoffing and raising his hands in defense. 

“Hey!”

“How the hell do you not know where your own crush lives?!” Katuski barked.

“I--But--she--I don’t know! I didn’t wanna seem weird!”

“We don’t have time to chastise Hitoshi for being… well… socially inexperienced… we have other things to do!” Mina brought the group back together.

“Socially inexperienced?!” Hitoshi placed a hand over his chest. 

“Could’ve just said a loser….” Katsuki mumbled.

“ANYWAYS!” Jirou practically shouted. “We need to split up and investigate, we will regroup later and discuss what we found, maybe even ask around if needed, we’re all clear?”

They all let out their own form of affirmation, confirming the plan, then they all stood up to execute it.

←prev || Masterlist || next→

»Summary: Bikers weren’t necessarily a problem in your city, but to you, they were like the bubonic plague. After running into one of them, you had to ask yourself, are bikers really that much of a nuisance?

Ghost readers don’t get fed!

Taglist: @endeavours-jockstrap @milkmademozzarella @mxonigirimiya @kurocantcommunicate @minninugget @readergurl20 @kingsheir

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© craftycheetah: all rights reserved. Do not edit, modify, repost, or claim my works as your own. Reblogs are appreciated.

[insistonyourcupofstars]

Daniel "Bleeding Heart" Humphrey: A Playlist

1.) Call Me a Dreamer - Kings Elliot

Overall, this song is entirely Dan. Almost every lyric sticks out as dan-coded, and I feel this song really works for him because of its idealism and dreaminess.

"Call me a dreamer // Call me naive // Like a gun to my head // Caught in a fever // Tryna deceive myself // That you'd stay // When you left"

2.) Arms - The Paper Kites

S5-6 DERENA!!!

"What can I give that is all for you? // My heart's no good 'cause it's split in two // What can I give that is all for you? // These arms are all I have"

3.) Gone - Blake Rose

"So don't tell me when it's over // I don't want to know // I'm done carrying the weight of the world // So heavy on my shoulders// I just wanna feel this love"

4.) So Far - Ólafur Arnolds

S6 Dan is honestly my poor little meow meow. Like, he is pure evil, but he is still my tragic little guy.

"So far from who I was // From who I love // From who I want to be // So far from seeing home // I stand out here alone // Am I asking for too much?"

5.) Call It Fate, Call It Karma - The Strokes

This is kind of playing into the idea of Dan and Serena never truly being able to leave each other, or at least, they have put so much effort into their relationship, that it has to mean something for them.

"Can I waste all your time out here on the sidewalk? // Can I stand in your light just for a while? // I've waited around to wait in a room // Having a hard time watching you"

6.) Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

"Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me // The first time that you touched me // Oh will wonders ever cease? // Blessed be the mystery of love // Now I'm prone to misery // The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me"

7.) THAT’S WHAT I WANT - Lil Nas X

Bisexual baby just wants love.

"These days, I'm way too lonely // I'm missing out, I know // These days, I'm way too alone // And I'm known for giving love away, but // I want someone who love me // I want someone who needs me // Cause it don't feel right when it's late at night // And it's just me in my dreams"

8.) Wilderness - Jon Bryant

4.17 & 5.17 KISS!

"Stay with me tonight // Let your senses lose this fight // In the open wilderness of love // Let me show you how // You will never be without // So lay your weary hand on mine // And I'll show you who this heart beats for"

9.) Back to the Old House - The Smiths

AAAAHHHH!!! The fact that the loft was once a refuge for the Humphreys and the UES kids, and it became essentially a haunted house; filled with memories of a past life that Dan can never go back to because so much damage has been done.

"I would rather not go // Back to that old house // There's too many bad memories // I would love to go // Back to the old house // But I never will"

10.) Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

"Acting on your best behavior // Turn your back on Mother Nature // Help me make the // most of freedom and of pleasure // nothing ever lasts forever // Everybody wants to rule the world"

11.) O Children - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Alright, this one might be a stretch, but I still see this as a Dan (+ NJBC) song. Something something their parents left them in a world that was unknowingly built to destroy them.

"Hey little train, wait for me // Was held in chains but now I'm free // I'm hanging in there, don't you see // In this process of elimination"

12.) when was it over? - Sasha Alex Sloane

post s5 dair!

"When was it over for you? // When was it over? // When was the moment you knew // That you were going to walk out eventually // It's still not over for me"

13.) Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift (ft The Civil Wars)

I read this song two different ways: Dan's relationship with Blair, and Dan's relationship with Milo. Honestly, I think I'm more partial to S&S being a Milo&Dan song because of @terrainofheartfelt milo!verse hcs about Dan fighting for custody over Milo, and it makes me want to cry.

"Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything is on fire // The war outside our door keeps raging on // Hold on to this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone // You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now // Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound"

14.) I Wanna Be Your Slave - Måneskin

Everytime I hear this song, I think of Dangina. Specifically speaking, this song gives off the s6 Dangina dynamic and I'm living for it. You and I both know that there was a lot of fucking going on during that summer.

"I love you since this morning // Not just for aesthetic // I wanna touch your body // So fucking electric // I know you scared of me // You say I'm too eccentric // I'm crying all my tears // And that's fucking pathetic"

15.) In the Woods Somewhere - Hozier

post!s1 derena/s5 dair breakup

"My head was warm // My skin was soaked // I called your name 'til the fever broke // When I awoke // The moon still hung // The night so black that the darkness hummed // I raised myself // My legs felt weak // I prayed my mind be good to me"

16.) Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens

ALISON AND DAN HUMPHREY RIGHTS!!!

Listen, I think about them more than I should. But, like... the sheer amount of PAIN that these two share is bizarre. They love each other, but with Alison leaving and Dan taking up a maternal role for Jenny, the resentment built between the two is so fucking sad. And the show never elaborates on it! They go from having a delicious story full of bitterness and resent and love, and then just say "oh, them? nah, they get along." LIKE WHAT?

Anyways, I have strong opinions on Dan and Alison and how alike they are, and I will gladly talk to you about them.

"Did you get enough love, my little dove // Why do you cry? // And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best // Though it never felt right // My little Versailles // Make the most of your life, while it is rife // While it is light"

17.) Sinking Ship - Wild Child

"Feel like wasting time // Feel like wasting time // Feel like wasting time with you // See the rising tide // Know it's only a matter of time"

18.) Until You - AHI

Much like #1, this song is, in its entirety, a Dan Humphrey song.

" There ain't much I can give // But I'll give you everything // You helped me believe in something // I was one of the wandering // I was empty, lost without a clue // Until now // Until you"

19.) Two Men in Love - The Irrepressibles

I'll give you guys three guesses as to who I am referring to.

"If I asked you now // Will you be my prince // Will you lay down your armor // And be with me forever // Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe honey // We're just two men in love"

[streetlight11]

The Hybrid

Summary: She was just on her way back home when she met a little kitty desperately seeking for shelter under the heavy rain. She decides to bring it home, not realizing that she brought home a hybrid who could shapeshift into a cute, young boy.

Theme: hybrid au, strangers to lovers

Genre: fluffy

Warnings: a smidge of male nudity

WC: 1.7k

Pairing: Hybrid!Jeongin x Fem!Reader

a/n: Here's a very short fic of hybrid Jeonginie! :))) Also, Hyunjinie's baaaaack 🥺🍀❤️

Being a part time university student and a full time worker is definitely not the easiest thing in the world but with enough motivation and perseverance, one is able to go through the difficult time if they keep their mind set and strong. With that being said, Y/N keeps this in mind whenever she feels tired or overworked.

Today was no different as she ended her night class and was just heading back home. She had just boarded off the bus and was walking towards her apartment building that was four blocks down when it started to rain heavily without a warning.

People started running for shelter and so did she. After she managed to hide herself under the roof of a closed tattoo parlour, she heard soft meows coming from somewhere.

She looked around, only to see a box that was drenched wet and was probably about to collapse anytime soon.

Suddenly, she saw a small head popping out for a second only to disappear back inside the box.

For some reason, she wanted to save the poor kitty as she left the shelter only to be drenched again in the rain. She carefully approached the box, only to see a beautiful light brown cat soaked in the rain just shivering under the box.

“Oh no, you poor baby…” She whispered as she reached out to pet the cat but instead it bit her wrist and hissed sharply at her.

She let out a soft wince but never pulled her hand away too quickly, causing the cat to stare at her with narrowed eyes, obviously not trusting her at that current moment.

“It’s okay little one, I’m gonna take care of you. It’s too cold out here isn’t it?” She asked as the cat hissed again.

Just then, a small smile appeared on her lips as she told the cat not to go anywhere as she quickly left to go to the small pet store down the road to get some canned cat food for it.

The kitty watched intently as Y/N looked left and right before running across the road. She came back about 5 minutes later with a plastic bag filled with a variety of cat food. She was happy to see the cat still there as it meowed at her when she came squatting back down in front of the box.

“Do you still not trust me?” She asked as she reached out carefully to put her hand in front of the cat’s face. The rain wasn’t heavy anymore but it hasn’t stopped either. The cat hissed at her again but it didn’t sound like the one before.

She left her hand there as she waited to see if the cat would finally give in to her.

It took the cat at least 3 minutes to slowly sniff her palm and fingers, and when it could sense that she meant no harm, it carefully pushed its nose against her cold palms. Y/N giggled as she gently scratched the cat’s cheek, making it purr in her hand.

“Come on, let’s get you a proper shelter.” She said as she kept the food in her bag, before she reached down to pull the cat out, only for it to leap into her arms.

She smiled as she soon carried it back to her apartment.

Once inside, she placed the cat down on the ground only to see it carefully scan her house. She giggled as she began to walk towards her kitchen, only for it to jump when she walked past it.

“Make yourself at home but please don’t poop or pee everywhere. I’m already tired from work and school.” She warns as the cat only meows as a response.

She kept the cat food in her cabinet, leaving one can out as she took two plastic bowls to put it’s food and water in it. After she was done, she placed it on the floor right at the edge of the hallway nearest to the living room.

“Come here.” She called as the cat came jogging down the hall.

It devoured the food and water in less than 10 minutes as Y/N had quickly changed out of her wet clothes and into a cozy oversized hoodie. After the cat was done having it’s dinner, she had a towel in her lap as the cat jumped into it after she called it.

She was just wiping the cat dry when she began to brainstorm ideas for a name.

“Since you’re mine now, what should I call you?” The cat began to purr as she thought of names.

“How about coco?”

The cat’s lips curled in disgust, making her laugh.

“Cookie?”

Nope.

“Brownie?”

Nope.

“Mocha?”

No.

Y/N sighed as she ran out of ideas. Just then, she figured to just settle with something easy for now since it wasn’t really a big issue to have names for a pet.

“You know what? I’ll just call you baby for now okay?” With that, the cat meowed as it nuzzled its head into her hand, making her stroke its fur softly. Without realizing, it has already been 4 months since she took in the beautiful brown kitty, in which she found out that it's a male.

However, during the past 4 months, she found it weird that sometimes her chores would be done and that her house would always be spick and span whenever she came home. But she never really figured out who did it.

It was a Saturday evening, she was just laying on her couch with her kitty on her tummy as she pats his head softly when it suddenly purred while nuzzling its head on her tummy. She giggled as she pulled it up only to meet her face.

“Give me kisses baby…” She said as it licked her nose and soon her lips. Her soft giggles made the kitty purr as it nuzzled it’s head into her neck.

A few days later, Y/N felt a really nice warmth engulfing her from behind. She unconsciously snuggled deeper against the source as she then felt arms squeezing their hold around her waist, causing her to finally come back to reality.

She frowned and got confused. Since when did she have a boyfriend?

She slowly glanced over her shoulder, only to see a handsome guy laying behind her, and he was… shirtless?

With that being said, she leaped out of bed with a short little scream.

It stirred him awake as she glanced down, only to accidentally see him in his pure naked form when the covers got pulled off his body. She squeaked in shock as she covered her eyes as she pointed an accusing finger at him.

“Wh-What! How! W-Who are you?! Why are you naked and in my bed?!” She peeked through her fingers only to see him still uncovered but he was slowly growing conscious.

“I’m your baby.” He said with a sleepy smile as he pulled the covers over his legs to rest it over his hip.

“You have got to be kidding me. I don’t have a boyfriend!”

“Not boyfriend, dummy. I’m your cat.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh, unable to believe his words. Though she was pretty sure she saw a tail gently swaying behind his form and the cute furry ears on top of his head, she thought she was imagining things.

“You’re a weirdo. Get out.” She frowned as she pointed to her bedroom door, only for him to smirk.

“Why? Afraid to accept the fact that your kitty is a very good looking guy?” He asked as he got out of bed, only for her to squeak when he stood there naked, covering her eyes again before he stopped right in front of her.

She carefully pulled her hand away only to see him smile down at her, the corner of his lips tugging upwards sharply just like how a cat smiles.

He soon licked the tip of her nose, making her jump.

“Scratch behind my ear.”

“Why?”

Just do it.”

With hesitant hands, she reached up, only to scratch behind his ear causing him to purr as his tail moved in a soft fluid motion from left to right.

Just then, his hands rested on her waist only for him to start kneading her flesh. He always did this in his cat form so for him to do this to her now, it made her feel something weird pooling in her stomach.

“The name’s Jeongin by the way.” He whispered as her eyes darted up to him, only to see the smirk on his face.

With that, she pulled away from him only to find a men's sweatpants in her closet. He slipped the pants on and soon, he wrapped his arms around her waist only for him to speak up against the skin of her shoulder.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, making her blush in embarrassment.

“W-What?!"

“Ever since the night you took me in, I’ve been wanting to thank you for saving me but I didn’t know how so-”

“Is that why you’ve been licking my lips all these while?” She asked, only for him to nod bashfully.

Y/N could feel her cheeks heat up as he smiled, pulling away from her as he walked around to face her with a little pout on his face. She stared at him in disbelief as he licked the tip of her nose again but it was more like a little lick instead of a long strip.

She sighed as she found his eyes and soon spoke up.

“Fine, but just that. Nothing else, understood?” She warned, only for him to nod like a little boy.

With that, a bright smile appeared on his face as he cupped her face on both sides and soon kissed her passionately. She found herself melting against his lips as she couldn’t deny that he was such a good kisser.

Jeongin pulled away only to let his lips linger on top of hers as he whispered.

“Thank you for saving me Y/N.”

“You're welcome Jeongin.”

She proceeded to smile as she dragged him to bed only to force him back to sleep as they slept in each other’s arms. Never did she think this day would come where she finds out that the stray cat she rescued turns out to be a hybrid who was gorgeous in his human form.

~~~

[jarofstyles]

ex! harry turning up at y/ns doorstep in the middle of the night telling her that he can’t stop thinking about what they had and even though shes like 🤔😐✋🏻 at first she invites him inside to talk more in depth and he goes „bloody idiot i was..was gon' marry yeh, were gon' be the mum of my babies..wanted everything w' yeh, still do.“ and it basically ends in some passionate intense love making<33

YES YES YES

_______

She bolted.

Harry cursed to himself for pressing down hard at her, knowing that she had been a bit skittish since their breakup. He knew that he would have to handle her with caution but in that moment, his mind slipped back into owning her. She had been his first so long, and even after so many months apart it was his instinct. He wanted her.

He was a stubborn son of a bitch, that was for sure. And while he had at first been a bit hesitant about his want to after her, he knew that it would be foolish of him to not. The connection they had was further proven in those moments he had her backed against that counter, and he knew that no one else would ever be able to make him feel the way she did.

So? Harry swallowed his pride. He decided to say fuck it, and arrived at her place, hands in his pockets as he looked down at his feet. The ride up to her flat and walk down the hallway was so familiar yet felt so raw. He hadn’t been here in so long, a hallway that used to watch their kisses and fumbling with keys and frisky hands up dressed or in pants was how solemn and a bit nerve wracking. He hadn’t ever wanted to let her go and it was his fault for sure. Not being able to delegate his work with his love was his downfall but if anything, the time apart had shown him how incredibly important it was to have someone like Y/N behind him. Her support meant everything.

She meant everything.

His knuckles tapped against the door, stomach turning with nerves. She could very well tell him to fuck off, spit at him, yell. He wasn’t necessarily sure what to expect. The only inkling he had to go off of was knowing she was just as miserable without him, and her body still reacted to touches the way she used to. He had that going for him.

When she opened the door, her heart fell to her stomach. It had been 3 days since the incident, her skin still tingling with the ghost of his touch. She had come home and sobbed. Sobbed and cried and gotten sick because the touch reminded her of everything she lost, all the strides she had thought she made to her over him.. ruined. All by one night. He had too much control over her.

Despite the nerves being raw, she took in his looks. His bags under his eyes, looking a bit pale and the lack of sleep. He had cried. She knew that look anywhere. Stress riddled his body and he almost looked like he was trying to make himself look smaller and less intimidating- which was hard for a 6 foot something tattooed man.

“H-Harry?” She whispered, unsure what to do with this. “What are you doing here?” Her arms crossed against her body protectively, which broke his heart. She shouldn’t have to feel scared of him. He should be making her feel safe and relaxed and open, like he used to.

“We need to talk, Y/N. Actually, I need to say some things and it would be better if I came inside. May I?”

Dumbfounded at the idea of him actually being here, she nodded, letting him in. It hadn’t changed too much. The vanilla suede candle still burned and scented the air. The couch still had a slight dip, the same pet dish for the cat was sat half empty. But their photos were gone,’making his stomach turn.

Fuck. This used to be home. It still felt like it for a bit. But she had erased bits of him that made it shared.

She led him to the living room, sitting on the couch across from him. The middle cushion gave space, making her feel a bit better. Harry was such a complicated thing for her. The source of so, so much joy in her life… but also so much pain. He had broken her heart and left her in pieces and he hadn’t attempted to work things out with her at all. So why now?

“What is it you have to say?” Her tone came off quiet and a bit cold. As if she was annoyed and bored. But it wasn’t the case. Her heart was pounding just as hard as his, clueless as to why he was here. Why he was bothering months too late.

“Don’t…. Lovely…” he swallowed sadly. “I hurt you so badly.” His face fell as he realized this wasn’t her. His girl didnt shy away, she didn’t go cold. She was warm and sweet to him, she was open and receptive and she never looked at him like that. Why he managed to notice so late… he didn’t know.

“Yeah. You did. You hurt me so fucking badly that I thought my heart was breaking. I always thought that maybe you’d come back and tell me what a mistake you’d made. Instead, you up and left. Packed your shit like a complete and utter coward while i was at work.” Her steely expression was laced with hints of pain that he could see through. The words made him flinch. It was true. He was a coward.

“Y/N, I-“

“Shut up.” She snapped, watching his face fall into shock. It really wasn’t the old her. She had been a bit bitter since then. It wasn’t fully his doing, but he was a large contributor. “I had to come home to an empty apartment. No letter. Ni note. No you; and no more of your stuff. The records were gone. You took our fucking records.” Her voice broke. “All your clothing. Not only did my heart feel empty, but the house? And then our fucking cat.” She seethed, standing up. “Our fucking cat meowed for days. Days, Harry. Looking for you. And you never came back. Sat at the god damn door every night at 7, waiting for you to come inside.” Her cold personal broke, the emotion sweeping her face.

His stomach hurt. He didn’t realize it would be this bad. As little as she had even said, he knew he would have to make it up until the end of time. Her hurt was audible and he could even feel it dripping into his own bloodstream.

“Sweetheart…” he stood up, approaching with caution. She didn’t back away, but she didn’t step towards him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” His voice broke. “I thought… I was so terrible t’ya, and then y’said you never wanted to see me again…. I thought I was doing what y’wanted.” He whispered pathetically. “I shouldn’t have… I should have fought harder. But we were so miserable, Y/N. I was wrecking you.” His excuse sounded poor even to his own ears, heart dropping as her lip wobbled.

“I just wanted you. I wanted you to talk to Me. To be with me. I didn’t want you to leave. You fucking idiot!” Her voice broke as the tears stung her eyes, but she didn’t push him away when he grabbed her and tugged her into his arms. Pulling her in for a hug, squeezing her tightly as he felt her start to sob. His own tears were quietly burning in his eyes. Seeing the result of his idiocy in person hurt.

“I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry. I thought you’d be happier without me… knew I was being an idiot and wasn’t giving you the right attention. But I thought you’d want to find me when y’wanted me again…” his logic was flawed yet again, and he realized how dumb he sounded when he said it out loud. “The plan was always us. Was Gonna marry ya. Y’were gonna be the mumma to my babies, was gonna be with you forever. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He whispered sadly, lips speaking against her hair.

“It’s still all I want. Y/N, angel love…. Please. Know I’ve been so stupid but I can’t do another day without you. I know I hurt you so badly… I’ll never forgive myself f’that. But I’ll spend every single day trying to make it up to you. I want you. I’ve missed you so much it hurts. Please… give me a chance to do what I should have done.” He pleaded, pulling her back to hold her face in his rough palms.

The sincerity dripping through his voice, the tears that had escaped his eyes and the trembling of his hands holding her cheeks let her see that he meant it. He meant it and he wanted to try. Maybe she was the idiot for believing him. But with a love she felt for him, so strongly remaining after all this time apart…. She only had one answer.

“Okay.”

[five-rivers]

Stars Aligned Chapter 3

(Please do not ask when the next chapter will be, I do not know. Links to AO3/FFN will be included in reblog.)

.

Here’s the thing. The very, very, stupid thing. Despite all his planning for this trip, Danny had no idea what his birth family looked like. Presumably, they also had no idea what he looked like.

As much as Danny would like to blame this on a wizardly aversion to the internet and photographs, he couldn’t. Danny could have sent them a picture of himself through the mail at any time. Even if wizard mail involved owls for some unexplained reason. But he didn’t. Because he was dumb.

And his equally dumb wizard family had also failed to send any pictures.

What were they thinking? Did they assume they’d somehow recognize each other on sight? Was that a wizard thing? Did they expect to spontaneously develop blood-relative telepathy? Was that a thing?

Danny did not know what to expect. He honestly didn’t know enough about wizards.

The end result was that Danny was standing in the middle of the wizarding world’s equivalent of an airport, which involved way more open fires than could possibly be safe, and people stepping into those open fires, which, again, could not possibly be safe. Of course, Danny had done it, as uncomfortable as it was for his core, and anything that used internal combustion was technically also using fire as a means of transportation, so Danny might have been a bit of a hypocrite, but still.

But, back to his dilemma. He, a dumb teenager, could be expected to do dumb, thoughtless things and make easily avoidable mistakes. It was basically a requirement. His actual family, who probably could have realized the error, didn’t want him to go and could be forgiven for any oversight. But dumb wizard birth family had at least one semi-competent adult in it. Supposedly.

Despite himself, his desire to kidnap his brother increased. Even though it would most likely cause an international incident.

He sighed. Maybe he should just follow the crowd and see if anyone stopped him. After all wizards might have magic blood-relative detection something or other.

He trudged along, pulling his trundle suitcase behind him. Silver lining was that whatever happened, he didn’t have to spend hours in a metal tube breathing recycled air. Silver lining. Silver lining. Silver—

Ah. Hm.

Danny blinked at his name written in large letters on a square of poster paper. His first and middle names, that is, and his bio-family’s last name.

He was highlytempted to turn around and go back home, but there was his twin, holding the card and looking fragile and hopeful, standing next to a tall woman with greying black hair.

He sighed. He was doing this, then.

“Hi,” he said, “you must be Draco. I’m Danny. And, uh, you must be Narcissa Malfoy?” He sort of held his hand out, feeling awkward.

“You can call me mother, Deneb,” said Narcissa. She sounded slightly tearful.

“It good to meet you, Deneb. Er. Danny.” Draco’s eyes flitted up to his mother.

“Yeah, um. Please don’t take this the wrong way, Mrs. Malfoy, but I don’t actually know you. And I’ve got a mom.”

“Yet,” interjected Draco. “You don’t know mother yet. That’s what this visit is about, right?”

“Right,” said Danny. “I’m… really looking forward to it.”

Draco looked relieved. “Excellent. Well, then, Looky can get your luggage and we can floo home.”

A very small, rather wizened person stepped out from behind Draco’s legs.

Okay. Danny had questions.

.

Danny did not particularly care for the answers to his questions.

.

Draco didn’t know why his twin had stopped talking to him before they’d even gotten home. He had, to some degree, expected rough spots. Merlin knew his family didn’t get along perfectly. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t hoped he and his twin would have a special connection. That they would mesh.

That… wasn’t happening. In fact, this was rather… awkward. Painful, almost.

He thought back to what they had been talking about. He didn’t think he’d said anything particularly objectionable. Had he hit on some chip on the shoulder those squibs had inculcated in him? Well, he thought, rather shamefacedly, he shouldn’t think of them like that. They hadn’t been the ones to abandon Deneb – Danny – just for not being immediately magical.

“Right,” he said, as Danny stepped (jumped, looking slightly disturbed) out of the fire. “Let me show you your room. We’ve had the house elves clean it out.”

Something on Danny’s face went dark, but he visibly controlled himself. “Thank you,” he said. “And, um, thank you, Looky. For your help.”

Draco frowned. He was confused, and he didn’t like feeling confused. He knew muggles didn’t have house elves, of course, but still. The concept wasn’t that hard to understand, was it? Although, it was possible Danny had never come across house elves at all, even second or third hand.

He supposed they might be unsettling if they were the first magical creature one came across. Ugh. He’d never tried to put himself in the position of someone learning about magic for the first time. Why would he? That was mudblood business, and he’d never associate with one of those.

But Danny was in that position, just about.

That meant it was Draco’s job to help Danny understand.

.

Danny was hoping he was misunderstanding something and that wizards did not, in fact, practice slavery.

This seemed to be a forlorn hope.

“So,” said Draco clasping his hands behind his back in the doorway of ‘Danny’s’ room, “er, house elves. You’ve probably not seen them before.”

“Can’t really say so, no.”

“Probably the first magical creatures you’ve seen.”

“Um,” said Danny. “Also no. I did have to go get a wand and stuff, and you’ve got to go to a wizard town to do that. I saw a bunch of different stuff there.” He didn’t really want to explain the ghosts, but… “Also, my parents study ghosts.”

“You mean, your adopted parents.”

“My parents, yes.”

“I didn’t know squibs could see ghosts. Well, they never seemed to have any trouble with it, so…” He shrugged.

“I… see.”

Danny doubted it, somehow. “But you were saying? About house elves?” Benefit of the doubt, he reminded himself.

“They’re servants,” said Draco. “Magically bound to serve certain families.”

“Magically bound,” repeated Danny, liking this less and less.

“Yes, it’s very old magic. An ancient agreement between our race and theirs, and the individual families and the house elves in question.”

“They can’t, like, opt out or anything?”

“That would defeat the point.”

“Okay,” said Danny. “So… Do they get, you know, paid at all?”

“Of course not,” said Draco.

Danny closed his eyes. “Okay. Um. Draco.” How to put this in a way that wouldn’t immediately alienate him. “Isn’t that slavery?”

“No,” said Draco, immediately. “They want to serve.”

“Well, they might say that to you, but human slaves used to say the same thing, because they’d get in trouble if they didn’t.”

Draco opened his mouth, closed it, and then said, confidently, “It isn’t like that.”

“Are you sure?”

“They aren’t human. They want to do this.”

Danny was no stranger to dealing with inhuman mindsets (but he most definitely did not have one himself). Even so…

“I think my point still stands. Like, are there very many house elves in this situation?”

“I don’t know,” said Draco. “I suppose so. Most families of substance and breeding have at least one.”

“Okay. Ah. Look. I’m not even sure where to start with this. Slavery is bad, right? We can agree on that.”

An annoyed expression passed over Draco’s face. “Yes, we can. That’s a given. But that’s for humans—"

“Great. Let’s start there. It’s bad for any human, right? Even, like, no-majs, or stupid humans, or—”

“Muggles,” corrected Draco. “No-maj is the American term.”

“When in Rome, I guess, sure. Muggles, then.”

“Yeah,” said Draco, uncomfortably crossing his arms.

Oh, Ancients, there was something there. Which Danny should have expected, given his birth father, whom he had yet to meet, threw him out of the house literally at birth.

Wizard supremacist weirdos corrupting his poor twin brother.

“Then what makes house elves so different?”

“Like I said, they want to do this. It’s in their nature. You wouldn’t, I don’t know, decide a dog was unhealthy because it barked instead of meowed, would you?” He spread his hands in frustration.

“I’ll give you that, but Looky looked actively afraid of you. And what was she even dressed in? That can’t be comfortable.”

“Giving them real clothes would free them – only if it’s their master, which in this case is Father.” He shifted slightly. “Except for Looky, I suppose, who is technicallymine. Great Aunt—Oh, you won’t know her. Why do you even care?”

“Why do I care about other people suffering? But otherthan that, what’s the difference between a house elf and a human servant? Like, would you treat a human servant like that? If you were a servant, wouldn’t you want to be treated with respect, even if being a servant was all you’d ever wanted?”

“But I’m not a servant.”

“But if you were. Can’t you just try to imagine it? A little? Please?”

“I… fine. But don’t bring this up to Mother and Father. They wouldn’t be pleased.”

“Okay. Deal.”

“Deal,” agreed Draco. “So. Do you like your room?”

Danny looked around. “Yeah, actually. It’s nice. Bit different from what I have at home, but, yeah. Good, um. Good floors. And wallpaper. And, um. Do all wizard paintings move like that?” He genuinely hadn’t noticed until just now, intent on the house elf problem.

“Yeah,” said Draco, seemingly relieved at the more normal topic. “It’s an enchantment on the canvas and paint.”

“Seems like it’d be hard to work with,” observed Danny.

“Well, the spell isn’t finished until after the actual painting part is done. At least, that’s my understanding.”

“I see, that would be easier.”

Silence.

“Would you like to see the peacocks?”

“Sure, why not?”

.

It took a bit of time to get bundled up in coats (cloaks in Draco’s case) because it was cold outside, but once they did…

“Wow. They’re albino peacocks.”

“Yes.”

“Wild.”

“No, they’re quite tame.”

“Oh, it’s, um, it’s an idiom. Like cool. Or wicked, I guess? Do British people use that?”

“I’ve heard some people use it. But Mother and Father are… not particularly enamored of slang.”

“Right,” said Danny. “I’ll remember that.”

They continued walking through the garden, towards the pond. Danny tried not to dwell on how much labor it would take to keep the grounds here so pristine.

“What do you do for fun in America?” asked Draco, out of nowhere.

Danny blinked. “Different people do different things,” he said. “Uh, a lot of things I usually do won’t work here because of the whole magic and electricity not getting along well thing. Have you ever heard about video games?”

“No,” said Draco. “Is it anything like quidditch?”

“I have only the loosest of understandings of what that is. It’s that broom sport, right? The one where you fly?”

Draco looked scandalized. “… Yes,” he said, finally. “I’m going to have to teach you how to use a broom before you have to go back to America.”

“The flying type of broom?” asked Danny, teasingly. Sure, he already could fly, but whatever.

“Merlin, yes.” Draco rolled his eyes. “I’m part of my house’s quidditch team. Letting you leave without some understanding of the rules would be a crime.”

“Draco, are you a jock?” asked Danny. “What is this world coming to. Related to a jock.” He shook his head dramatically. “I’ll never live it down.”

Draco nudged him slightly. “I’m not a meathead beater, at least,” he said. “I’m the team seeker.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

Draco’s smile slowly slid off his face.

“What?” said Danny.

“It’s just… you should. You should have grown up here, with family, as part of this world.”

“I did grow up with family,” said Danny. “Just not direct blood relatives. It kind of sucks that we didn’t get the chance to grow up together, but, like, I’m not really impressedby your parents so far.”

“Mother was very upset when she heard what Father did.”

“Sure, but she also kind of ditched us as soon as we got back here.”

“She has a delicate constitution? I’m sure she’s just trying to decide how to act… giving you space to make you feel more comfortable?”

Danny shrugged. “Well, we’ll see what happens. I’m going to be here until the end of the break, after all.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to Hogwarts, just for the rest of the school year? I’m sure they’ll be better than any alternative in America, when it comes to catching you up. Father has friends on the board of governors and the Ministry Department of Educational Oversight. It would be easy for you to go.”

“My friends are all back home,” said Danny, “and magic or not, what I really want to do with my life is become an astronaut, and I need ‘muggle’ grades and school for that.”

“A what now?”

“An astronaut?”

Surely, Draco had just misheard him.

“Is that some sort of muggle thing, then?”

“I- Do you not know what an astronaut is?” asked Danny, flabbergasted. “Really?”

Draco’s eyebrows were furrowed. “No, I don’t.”

“How about cosmonauts? Do you know about them?”

“No,” said Draco. “Is this related to the Argonauts, somehow? That Greek thing?”

“No,” said Danny. “I mean, the root word – But no. Not the same thing at all. How do I even… Do you know what outer space is?”

“Astronomy is a class at Hogwarts.”

“Not a very good one,” said Danny, “if you don’t know what an astronaut is. I think I’d die.”

“It’s a very good class. Hogwarts is the best wizarding school in Europe. And I know what outer space is. It’s the space up above the atmosphere, where the planets and stars are, and stuff.”

“Okay. I mean. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything,” reassured Danny, sensing that he had ruffled some feathers. “I’m just… an astronomy class should teach about astronauts. Astronauts are people who’ve been to space. Outer space.”

“That’s rubbish,” said Draco. “You can’t go to space.”

Danny refrained from informing Draco that he had, in fact, been to space. “Well, I want to go to space,” said Danny, “and other people have been there.”

“No one’s been to space,” said Draco. “Unless maybe someone apparated there by mistake, but how would you even do that?”

“I don’t know what apparating is,” said Danny. “Some kind of teleportation?”

Both of them stared at each other, each one probably at a loss for words regarding the other’s ignorance of things they themselves considered common knowledge.

“Yeah, more or less,” said Draco, finally. “But you can’t get to space. It’s impossible.”

“It isn’t. There are people up there right now,” said Danny. “On the International Space Station. Which is… it’s sort of a little house. In space.”

“There’s no air up there.”

“They bring the air with them.”

“Wouldn’t it explode?”

“They figured out how to make it so it wouldn’t explode. It’s very, um. Sturdy. Rigid. The space station is airtight.”

“And you’re saying that there are muggles in it. In space. Outer space. Right now.”

“As we speak. I mean, I guess some of them could be secret wizards, but considering your reaction, I’m doubting it.”

“Muggles. In space.”

“Yeah. We made it to the moon, too. But that was—”

“The moon?”

“Yeah?”

“In the sky?”

“That, uh.” He looked up, as if expecting to see the moon despite the thick cloud cover. “Yeah. The moon.”

“You’re telling me,” said Draco, in a hushed voice, “that there are muggles on the moon. Right now. As we speak.”

“No, that was before we were born,” said Danny.

“What.”

“Yeah, some people went, but it was really expensive, so they haven’t been back. Which I think is silly, because can you imagine the scientific advancements we could have made? The resources we could have brought back?”

“The moon.”

“You seem really hung up on this. Are you okay?”

“You- That- The moon. And muggles in space?”

“Yeah,” said Danny. He rubbed the back of his neck. “So, you see why I need to go back. I’m sure Hogwarts is great and all, but I really want to be an astronaut.”

“Can you see them through a telescope?”

“See what?”

“The muggles in space.”

“On a clear night, sure, if you know where to look.” Before the Accident (the Big One, the Unaliving, the Green Flash, the Knockoff Origin Story), Danny usually checked the internet for the times the ISS passed overhead. But he’d developed a ghost power that gave him a pretty good sense of where anything in the sky was, so long as he concentrated for a few minutes. “It orbits the Earth every ninety minutes or so, although it doesn’t always catch the light enough to see properly. You can actually see a lot of satellites.”

“There are more of these things?” hissed Draco.

“Not with people on them.”

“I’m getting my telescope,” declared Draco, starting to stride back to the house.

“We won’t be able to see anything now,” said Danny.

“It’s enchanted to see through cloud cover and ignore non-reflected sunlight. It’s top of the line.”

Danny had never wanted a physical object so much in his entire life.

“What? What? Magic can do that?”